1
00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:13,009
I'm telling you no.
2
00:01:14,716 --> 00:01:17,310
Talk it over inside.
Come on, break it up now.
3
00:01:17,819 --> 00:01:21,118
If I have anymore trouble up there,
I'll bust somebody in the head!
4
00:01:21,356 --> 00:01:23,916
...why he gets to see the kids every week!
5
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,051
You big liar!
6
00:01:44,012 --> 00:01:45,536
Now the point we're making...
7
00:01:45,613 --> 00:01:49,811
You know, Counselor, there's an old saying:
"There are three sides to every story:
8
00:01:49,884 --> 00:01:51,647
"Yours, his, and the truth."
9
00:01:51,719 --> 00:01:54,483
Mr. Keefer here said nothing but that, truth.
10
00:01:54,555 --> 00:01:55,817
As he sees it.
11
00:01:55,890 --> 00:01:58,381
Never saw a case yet
where the fault was all one side.
12
00:01:58,459 --> 00:02:00,518
So let's try to compromise.
13
00:02:01,629 --> 00:02:04,063
Your Honor, my client is convinced
there's no hope.
14
00:02:04,132 --> 00:02:08,262
You see, what we're dealing with here
isn't a sick marriage, it's a dead one.
15
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,328
What am l, the undertaker?
16
00:02:11,939 --> 00:02:15,306
- Now on Page 9 of the second deposition...
- 6:00.
17
00:02:18,279 --> 00:02:21,510
6:00, gentlemen. Awful lot to cover still.
18
00:02:22,116 --> 00:02:25,381
- I suggest we resume 9:00 a.m.
- Okay with me.
19
00:02:33,561 --> 00:02:35,688
- Why 9:00 a.m.?
- We have no choice.
20
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,826
Mrs. Keefer, could I have a word with you?
21
00:02:39,901 --> 00:02:41,664
- Sure.
- And you, too, Mr. Keefer.
22
00:02:41,736 --> 00:02:43,067
- Over here.
- Me?
23
00:02:43,171 --> 00:02:45,639
You'll excuse us, please, the rest of you?
24
00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:49,475
Well, I don't do this very often.
25
00:02:49,844 --> 00:02:52,506
- Once in a while.
- Okay to smoke in here?
26
00:02:53,014 --> 00:02:54,948
Well, I suppose it is now.
27
00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:57,541
- Go ahead, Mrs. Keefer.
- She doesn't smoke.
28
00:02:57,652 --> 00:02:58,983
I gave it up.
29
00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:02,745
You agree with your Mr. Jenner,
about this marriage is dead?
30
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,923
I think so.
31
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,885
What about you?
32
00:03:09,430 --> 00:03:11,523
I don't know what I think by now.
33
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,995
How did you two happen to meet?
34
00:03:15,937 --> 00:03:18,929
- What's the difference?
- Wasn't anything special.
35
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,039
We just...
36
00:03:21,809 --> 00:03:23,037
We happened to...
37
00:03:23,511 --> 00:03:25,877
- Just a pickup.
- It was not!
38
00:03:26,314 --> 00:03:28,077
Okay, it was not.
39
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,407
- Where?
- Central Park.
40
00:03:31,052 --> 00:03:32,679
That's right, Central Park.
41
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,552
It was one summer,
and I had this friend George Bastian...
42
00:03:35,623 --> 00:03:37,818
and we had a habit
of every Saturday afternoon...
43
00:03:37,892 --> 00:03:41,259
sometimes Sundays,
to go over in the park and horse around.
44
00:03:41,629 --> 00:03:44,655
Play a game of ball,
get a rowboat, pitch pennies.
45
00:03:44,732 --> 00:03:48,293
But this one day, we happened
to be walking along having a discussion...
46
00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:50,830
and we were figuring this idea
back and forth...
47
00:03:50,905 --> 00:03:53,669
about the post office, see,
where both of us worked.
48
00:03:53,741 --> 00:03:56,972
And we were real engrossed,
like you get on scientific subjects.
49
00:03:57,044 --> 00:04:00,502
The next thing you know, two girls
come walking right through between us.
50
00:04:00,581 --> 00:04:04,608
So we looked them over, and George says,
"Bet you $1 they look back. "
51
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,379
So I said, "Bet!"
52
00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:09,854
-So, sure enough, they looked back!
-We did not!
53
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,592
I remember paying him $1!
54
00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:16,756
Then George gets this idea
to cut around this other path...
55
00:04:16,831 --> 00:04:19,925
and run, see, very fast up
and around past them.
56
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,960
I didn't want to do it, but he drags me,
practically, over a hill there.
57
00:04:24,038 --> 00:04:27,599
I don't go in for that kind of kid stuff,
but George, that's how he is.
58
00:04:27,675 --> 00:04:30,667
I couldn't talk him out of it,
and I couldn't hold him back.
59
00:04:30,745 --> 00:04:34,511
So, on the other side, sure enough,
there they were, giving us the eye.
60
00:04:34,582 --> 00:04:36,607
And we come right through between them.
61
00:04:36,684 --> 00:04:39,653
But we kept right on walking.
We never looked back at all.
62
00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:42,222
It so happens I remember it different.
63
00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:43,951
That's how it was.
64
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,353
Then George says to do it again.
65
00:04:46,527 --> 00:04:50,964
So we go racing around, and by this time
we figured they must have been going crazy.
66
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,759
We just sort of kidded them along
as if we knew them.
67
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,963
As if we weren't wise
to the whole gag all along!
68
00:04:57,038 --> 00:04:59,632
-And again we didn't look back.
-We neither.
69
00:04:59,707 --> 00:05:03,040
But by this time, I got a good look at them
and they looked nice...
70
00:05:03,110 --> 00:05:06,568
you know, regular,
not just a couple of ordinary girls.
71
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,408
I don't remember exactly
what happened next.
72
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,748
But next thing you know,
we're all standing around talking.
73
00:05:13,087 --> 00:05:15,715
Then George,
right away with the address book.
74
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:19,419
That's the kind of a guy he was.
And I said to him, "Put it away. "
75
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,688
But no, he keeps trying to date them up.
76
00:05:22,063 --> 00:05:24,497
That George, he has no resistance.
77
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:28,135
So then we started going around together,
the four of us, two couples.
78
00:05:28,636 --> 00:05:30,831
I remember once
we drove out to Long Island...
79
00:05:30,905 --> 00:05:32,805
to this drive-in movie place.
80
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,934
Around about now
we got to be pretty friendly with each other.
81
00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:38,670
We tried switching dates
on different nights...
82
00:05:38,746 --> 00:05:43,240
but the way it seemed to jell was
George with Marian and Florence with me.
83
00:05:43,351 --> 00:05:45,842
I remember I drove out, but he drove back.
84
00:05:46,187 --> 00:05:49,179
To tell you the truth,
that was the way I had it figured.
85
00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:52,384
I used to enjoy telling her
all my troubles at the post office.
86
00:05:52,627 --> 00:05:55,494
And it was right there, that night,
in Florence's hallway...
87
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:58,999
the subject came up.
The subject about getting married, I mean.
88
00:05:59,066 --> 00:06:01,796
-I didn't bring it, she brought it.
-How?
89
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,165
By you saying:
90
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:06,138
"How come a fellow like you
isn't even married?"
91
00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:08,501
"What are you waiting for,
the boss's daughter?"
92
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,909
I remember laughing, 'cause I thought
it was pretty cute at the time.
93
00:06:11,979 --> 00:06:14,709
But anyways,
we got talking about it pretty serious...
94
00:06:14,782 --> 00:06:18,548
and I started in explaining something
about my theory I had at that time.
95
00:06:18,686 --> 00:06:21,746
My theory was, I didn't want to get married.
96
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:26,451
I didn't have anything against it,
but it was no good for me at that time, see?
97
00:06:26,527 --> 00:06:31,191
I'd just gotten into the Civil Service then
making $2,300, so how could I get married?
98
00:06:31,732 --> 00:06:35,429
The next thing I know,
I'm in Atlantic City on a honeymoon. Mine!
99
00:06:35,836 --> 00:06:38,737
I kept thinking down there,
all the time to myself:
100
00:06:38,806 --> 00:06:41,366
"What are you doing down here?
You can't afford it. "
101
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,343
It so happens
the whole honeymoon was a wedding gift...
102
00:06:44,412 --> 00:06:47,313
of my sister Joan and her husband,
Howard L. Shipley.
103
00:06:47,381 --> 00:06:50,373
That's what I'm saying, I couldn't afford it.
104
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,887
He could afford to give it,
but I couldn't afford to take it.
105
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,389
So then, by luck, we get
this apartment in Peter Cooper Village...
106
00:06:55,389 --> 00:06:58,381
So then, by luck, we get
this apartment in Peter Cooper Village...
107
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,620
and we started up in housekeeping.
108
00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:04,495
Wasn't much keeping to do,
one table and one chair.
109
00:07:04,765 --> 00:07:07,427
There were three chairs
and quite a lot of furniture.
110
00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:09,867
In fact, the bedroom was nearly completed.
111
00:07:10,204 --> 00:07:14,197
Not that we ever used it much,
with his crazy job and the crazy hours.
112
00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:17,733
Wouldn't exactly call
the Post Office Department crazy.
113
00:07:17,845 --> 00:07:20,712
I remember the first morning at 5:45...
114
00:07:33,894 --> 00:07:35,885
- Ringing.
- What?
115
00:07:38,299 --> 00:07:39,766
It's ringing.
116
00:07:40,401 --> 00:07:42,130
I just shut it off.
117
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:49,041
- Well, I hear it.
- I just shut it off.
118
00:07:50,811 --> 00:07:52,278
What time is it?
119
00:07:56,283 --> 00:07:57,875
Go to sleep, honey.
120
00:08:02,456 --> 00:08:03,923
Gotta get up.
121
00:08:04,792 --> 00:08:06,282
No, you don't.
122
00:08:07,828 --> 00:08:09,762
- Gotta.
- Why?
123
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,435
I wanna be a good wife.
124
00:08:17,004 --> 00:08:19,802
You can be a good wife later,
when I come home.
125
00:08:38,592 --> 00:08:41,720
- Breakfast?
- I'll grab something. Automat.
126
00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:44,797
You think so?
127
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,701
But look, you don't want to sleep too late...
128
00:08:51,772 --> 00:08:54,036
'cause isn't this the day
they're coming over?
129
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,306
- Who over?
- The luncheon.
130
00:08:58,245 --> 00:09:01,703
- Joan and your mother and my sister?
- Holy smoke, I think so.
131
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:05,683
- So get up sometime, huh, baby?
- That's right.
132
00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:14,488
Get up sometime, but not 6:00.
133
00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:32,209
Well, look who's here!
134
00:09:32,313 --> 00:09:33,678
Hey, what do you know!
135
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,874
Why, you don't look more
than 10 years older!
136
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,918
Hey, look at the potbelly already!
137
00:09:37,985 --> 00:09:40,112
I told you to watch out
for that home cooking.
138
00:09:40,187 --> 00:09:43,179
Nothing so disgusting
as good, plain, home cooking.
139
00:09:43,257 --> 00:09:44,519
Okay!
140
00:09:44,592 --> 00:09:46,822
Oh, I wish I was single again
141
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:49,088
I wish I was single again
142
00:09:49,163 --> 00:09:51,495
For when I was single,
my pockets would jingle
143
00:09:51,565 --> 00:09:53,658
I wish I was single again
144
00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:55,961
I married a wife, oh then
145
00:09:56,036 --> 00:09:59,233
A guy gets married,
all his friends turn comedians.
146
00:09:59,306 --> 00:10:02,002
- What is that?
- Hey, touchy, too!
147
00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:04,874
Naturally, from all that loving,
honoring and obeying.
148
00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:06,310
We heard that old saying about:
149
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:09,440
"Two can live as cheap as one,"
providing one don't eat.
150
00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:11,610
All right, come on, fellows!
151
00:10:11,685 --> 00:10:12,879
- Come on.
- Let's do it.
152
00:10:12,953 --> 00:10:15,979
All kidding aside,
we got a little thing here for you.
153
00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:18,547
- It's not much, but...
- Listen, you didn't have to!
154
00:10:18,626 --> 00:10:21,595
Something you'll be able to use
every night when you go home.
155
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,926
Here you are, Chet. From everybody here.
156
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,091
Thanks, fellows, very much.
157
00:10:32,239 --> 00:10:33,763
What are these?
158
00:10:33,874 --> 00:10:36,707
Ear stoppers! You never use them?
159
00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:38,711
You're gonna need them now, boy.
160
00:10:38,779 --> 00:10:42,010
Look, you just stick them in, just like that,
and you got peace.
161
00:10:42,082 --> 00:10:45,017
It's the only way you'll ever get it now.
162
00:10:46,987 --> 00:10:48,420
Go on, Benny, come on.
163
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:51,650
Just a gag, Chet. Here's the present.
You don't have to open it.
164
00:10:51,725 --> 00:10:54,592
It's a wallet, genuine alligator,
and it cost plenty, too.
165
00:10:54,662 --> 00:10:56,129
There she is!
166
00:11:07,441 --> 00:11:09,705
- Mama!
- Well, here I am.
167
00:11:11,512 --> 00:11:13,946
You're the first company
in this whole apartment.
168
00:11:14,415 --> 00:11:15,814
Isn't it beautiful?
169
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,818
Well, now I got two married daughters
with two homes.
170
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:22,083
Well, Joan's is gorgeous.
But isn't this something?
171
00:11:22,156 --> 00:11:24,886
Of course, you realize it isn't finished yet.
172
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,460
The bedroom, you want to look in?
173
00:11:35,469 --> 00:11:37,903
What's this? Modern?
174
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:39,633
Beds are delivered next week.
175
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:42,171
Can't hurt yourself falling out of bed
or anything.
176
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,074
Yeah, you could tripping over.
177
00:11:44,545 --> 00:11:47,639
Well, it's kind of transient looking,
but lovely.
178
00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:51,947
We're gonna have two bureaus. Unpainted.
Chet's very handy with a paint brush.
179
00:11:52,019 --> 00:11:57,082
Artistic. He's gonna paint his a light green,
and mine a light pink.
180
00:11:57,725 --> 00:11:59,317
Why light, pray?
181
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,993
Wait a minute,
I have to look at something on the stove.
182
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:08,626
Mama!
183
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,230
The kitchen!
184
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,673
I'm giving us pork chops for lunch.
Joan likes them.
185
00:12:14,742 --> 00:12:17,074
- You like them, too, don't you?
- Lf they're reliable.
186
00:12:17,144 --> 00:12:20,238
- And Emily likes any old thing.
- She looks it.
187
00:12:20,347 --> 00:12:23,111
- Listen, Mama, none of that.
- None of what?
188
00:12:23,183 --> 00:12:25,481
I made up my mind,
this is gonna be one family...
189
00:12:25,552 --> 00:12:28,521
without all the in-laws
always biting at each other.
190
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:34,488
Emily is Chet's sister and I love her.
And so do you.
191
00:12:34,595 --> 00:12:38,224
I am not going to love anybody
who's married to a butcher.
192
00:12:38,766 --> 00:12:42,065
Pat is a very fine person,
and you love him, too...
193
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,933
- The same as her.
- I do, do I?
194
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:46,768
- Yes, you do.
- Well, that's very nice of me.
195
00:12:48,876 --> 00:12:51,106
- What's that?
- A present, I guess.
196
00:12:51,178 --> 00:12:53,112
I don't think we bought anything that shape.
197
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:55,944
You never know.
They wrap things up so crazy.
198
00:12:59,253 --> 00:13:03,747
Can you afford a radio as expensive
as this one looks like to me?
199
00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:07,088
No, but Mr. Clarence F. Dow can.
200
00:13:07,428 --> 00:13:09,828
- Who?
- You know, my old boss.
201
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,488
I didn't remember he had an "F" in him.
202
00:13:12,566 --> 00:13:16,161
The least he could do is a generous gift,
after all I took from him.
203
00:13:16,537 --> 00:13:17,561
Took what?
204
00:13:19,206 --> 00:13:21,231
Isn't this gorgeous!
205
00:13:21,642 --> 00:13:23,473
A cigarette box!
206
00:13:23,544 --> 00:13:26,843
- Is it real leather?
- From the girls at the office.
207
00:13:27,648 --> 00:13:30,947
"When you light up at the end of the day...
208
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,684
"think of Edie and Marian...
209
00:13:33,754 --> 00:13:37,520
"and Gloria and Min and Charlotte and Mae."
210
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:41,688
Yeah, you know if that's real leather,
it costs something. Smell it.
211
00:13:45,499 --> 00:13:47,194
It's real leather!
212
00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:52,764
- How are things going, Ed?
- No strain.
213
00:14:00,314 --> 00:14:03,647
- Hey, Chet. Up here!
- Hi, boy!
214
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:13,760
- Welcome to our city.
- How are you, George?
215
00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:15,795
Fine. And you?
216
00:14:16,463 --> 00:14:17,794
No change.
217
00:14:18,298 --> 00:14:20,823
- How's Florence?
- Fine.
218
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,230
- How come you don't look no different?
- Why should I?
219
00:14:27,307 --> 00:14:30,333
- Or maybe you ain't adjusted yet?
- I'm adjusted.
220
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,743
In fact, I never had it so good.
221
00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:38,178
- I got something to go for now, after all.
- Yeah? Like what?
222
00:14:38,318 --> 00:14:41,185
Like getting someplace,
like a family man should.
223
00:14:41,288 --> 00:14:44,121
Yeah, I can see you're adjusted, all right.
224
00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:49,586
I got figuring something the other day.
225
00:14:49,663 --> 00:14:53,121
To make good, you don't have
to be smart all your life.
226
00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:56,532
You only have to be smart
for about 10 seconds, that's all.
227
00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:58,730
What do you mean, 10 seconds?
228
00:14:58,806 --> 00:15:01,673
This guy who thought up the idea
of the windshield wiper.
229
00:15:01,742 --> 00:15:04,643
All right, how long did it take him
to think it up?
230
00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:06,872
Ten seconds, maybe less.
231
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:10,007
From then on, everything rolls, or anything.
232
00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:13,046
The telephone, or the subway.
233
00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:16,787
Cellophane.
234
00:15:19,426 --> 00:15:20,984
Or even take the wheel.
235
00:15:21,261 --> 00:15:22,558
Whoever thought up the wheel?
236
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:26,929
- I bet it didn't take more than 10 seconds.
- Boy, married life's sure made you deep.
237
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,366
Anyway, that's the sort of lines
I'm thinking along.
238
00:15:29,436 --> 00:15:32,462
Three, four years you'll be
bald-headed, or gray-haired, or both.
239
00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:35,940
- See you, George!
- Don't take any wooden 10 seconds!
240
00:15:37,711 --> 00:15:38,545
- Sorry. What were you saying, Emily?
- Nothing.
241
00:15:38,545 --> 00:15:40,775
- Sorry. What were you saying, Emily?
- Nothing.
242
00:15:40,914 --> 00:15:44,145
If you hadn't given up your job,
the house would be a mess.
243
00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:46,812
- Now, this chop is tender.
- Good, Mama.
244
00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:50,084
So speak to your butcher,
or don't speak to him, how you feel.
245
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,625
Joan don't have to be late all the time,
does she?
246
00:15:52,693 --> 00:15:54,422
Mine were both good.
247
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:57,225
- Was it grand at Atlantic City?
- Was it!
248
00:15:57,531 --> 00:15:59,556
How's it I've never been?
249
00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:02,065
Because everybody gets in a rut.
250
00:16:02,469 --> 00:16:04,300
Take me, a rut.
251
00:16:04,738 --> 00:16:06,365
But down there in Atlantic City...
252
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,898
I got into quite a lot of thinking,
you know what I mean?
253
00:16:09,977 --> 00:16:13,174
I don't mean just stewing around,
I mean thinking.
254
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,813
And to tell you the truth,
I was surprised how enjoyable it was!
255
00:16:17,451 --> 00:16:20,579
Well, you take most people, including me...
256
00:16:20,921 --> 00:16:24,516
they hardly ever get to do any thinking,
when do they get the time?
257
00:16:24,658 --> 00:16:27,354
If you do get the time,
there's the movies or the radio...
258
00:16:27,427 --> 00:16:30,362
or you play a game of cards,
but no thinking.
259
00:16:31,331 --> 00:16:34,732
Down there it was my first chance in
I don't know how long...
260
00:16:34,801 --> 00:16:39,170
and I've made up a rule, I'm gonna do
at least a half hour of thinking...
261
00:16:39,239 --> 00:16:42,470
every day, all by myself. Just quietly.
262
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,405
What are you gonna think about?
263
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,371
I don't know, everything.
264
00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:51,680
Let me know how you make out.
I may try it myself.
265
00:16:53,587 --> 00:16:56,317
Here, take my knife, Mama, it's sharper.
266
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:02,893
I could go the world over,
Atlantic City would be my greatest place.
267
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:07,462
That salt water taffy was nice,
but there was no salt water in it.
268
00:17:07,534 --> 00:17:09,900
Mrs. Finney said she thought so, either.
269
00:17:09,970 --> 00:17:12,438
- It's great, though.
- It pulls your fillings.
270
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,073
Say, what's Joan have to be so late about?
271
00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:20,007
- Don't you like a piano in a room?
- How about some curtains?
272
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:25,109
Where did I read in the paper somewhere,
about curtains made out of...
273
00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:30,188
comic papers stuck on unbleached
muslin, with borders made of Scotch Tape?
274
00:17:33,293 --> 00:17:37,059
Give me back my own knife, will you?
I kind of got used to it.
275
00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:39,795
That's her.
276
00:17:45,138 --> 00:17:47,663
Hi. I got caught in all the traffic.
277
00:17:53,914 --> 00:17:55,142
Hello, Mama.
278
00:17:55,215 --> 00:17:57,706
You remember Emily, don't you?
Chet's sister?
279
00:17:57,784 --> 00:18:00,184
- Sure, from the wedding.
- Hi, Joan.
280
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:01,819
How's your cute husband?
281
00:18:01,888 --> 00:18:03,480
- Cute.
- We started.
282
00:18:04,391 --> 00:18:06,382
What a darling room!
283
00:18:06,493 --> 00:18:08,552
We're keeping yours hot out here.
284
00:18:08,829 --> 00:18:11,423
I just adore that kind of a couch!
285
00:18:11,498 --> 00:18:13,989
- What kind is it?
- Sit down, Joan.
286
00:18:14,401 --> 00:18:16,631
We're using your silver. Beautiful!
287
00:18:16,703 --> 00:18:19,866
- The knives could be sharper.
- How's Howard?
288
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:22,134
I guess he got our postcards okay.
289
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:24,937
- Why Jell-O, pray?
- It's great for you.
290
00:18:25,012 --> 00:18:27,845
We were studying this book
they gave away at Atlantic City...
291
00:18:27,914 --> 00:18:30,075
turns out
it's the healthiest thing you can eat.
292
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,811
You can't beat fruit.
293
00:18:31,885 --> 00:18:34,820
Chet says you never have to be sick at all,
if you watch it.
294
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:38,153
He says, "We are what you put in you."
You know what I mean?
295
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:41,886
Like if you stick to only healthy food,
you'll turn out healthy yourself.
296
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:45,522
Chet's terribly smart about stuff.
I mean, he really thinks.
297
00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:48,467
Like last night, he says:
298
00:18:48,902 --> 00:18:52,235
"Why do we have to blow our noses?
A dog never does."
299
00:18:52,939 --> 00:18:54,736
What time last night?
300
00:18:56,343 --> 00:19:00,177
You see, trouble is,
just aren't enough promotions to go around.
301
00:19:00,247 --> 00:19:03,080
- Have a sourball?
- No, thanks, I just had lunch.
302
00:19:03,150 --> 00:19:05,311
Lots of energy in these things.
303
00:19:05,385 --> 00:19:07,182
Here, Joe, take this.
304
00:19:07,921 --> 00:19:09,582
What was I saying?
305
00:19:09,656 --> 00:19:12,352
- About there aren't enough.
- Not by a long shot!
306
00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:15,589
The only thing,
when I filed for Equipment Inspector...
307
00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:18,722
I wasn't married then.
Do I have to make out another one now?
308
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:20,460
No, that's all right.
309
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:23,697
- Thought maybe there was a difference.
- Here, Jack, the 3:00.
310
00:19:24,004 --> 00:19:27,701
Only difference is you may have
a tougher time getting set for the exam.
311
00:19:27,774 --> 00:19:29,765
- Why?
- What with your wife and all.
312
00:19:29,843 --> 00:19:31,811
She's even going to help me.
313
00:19:31,878 --> 00:19:34,073
Lots of night work. You know what I mean.
314
00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:37,674
It's the kind of night work
a man's wife isn't likely to appreciate.
315
00:19:37,751 --> 00:19:41,152
Yeah? Well, thanks, Mr. Newhouse.
316
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,621
I said to him it'll be easier, not harder,
because my wife's gonna help me, in fact.
317
00:19:50,697 --> 00:19:52,995
- I will, too.
- I know it, honey.
318
00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:55,928
That's some beautiful wallet, all right!
319
00:19:56,002 --> 00:19:58,197
Not even gonna use it,
that's how much I like it.
320
00:19:58,271 --> 00:20:01,638
- For a special occasion, you could.
- That's what I said.
321
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,040
People are certainly very nice.
322
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,710
Honey, which of these are mine?
You got any idea?
323
00:20:07,781 --> 00:20:10,272
The ones with the little ribbons tied on it.
324
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:11,681
- They're yours.
- Yeah, I see.
325
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:15,188
Wouldn't it be better to put the ribbons
on yours? More appropriate?
326
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,416
- Why?
- I don't know.
327
00:20:18,358 --> 00:20:20,553
Oh, no, I never thought.
328
00:20:20,727 --> 00:20:23,821
Maybe someday we'll be so rich
we can afford two glasses.
329
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,426
It wouldn't surprise me.
330
00:20:31,138 --> 00:20:34,005
Joan reminded me of something,
my mother, too...
331
00:20:34,074 --> 00:20:37,202
that if not for the mumps
we never even would have got together.
332
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:40,576
- What's mumps got to do?
- The ones I had that time.
333
00:20:41,081 --> 00:20:43,845
- What time?
- Bermuda.
334
00:20:44,851 --> 00:20:47,149
What's all this, Bermuda mumps?
335
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:51,488
We were lying in bed
looking at the Sunday papers...
336
00:20:51,558 --> 00:20:53,719
and I happened to be looking
for the radio part...
337
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,318
Who did you say was in bed?
338
00:20:55,395 --> 00:20:56,487
Both of us.
339
00:20:56,596 --> 00:20:58,757
Yeah, that's right, you and who else?
340
00:20:58,899 --> 00:21:02,130
- Joan. I said that, didn't I?
- No, you didn't.
341
00:21:02,202 --> 00:21:04,670
- Well, that's who.
- Well, thanks.
342
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:08,471
So I was looking to see
what was on the radio when...
343
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:13,768
We're having some pretty natural noises
tonight, aren't we?
344
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,982
So I was reading the Sunday papers,
so I come across the travel part.
345
00:21:19,052 --> 00:21:22,044
- I showed it to Joan, we got...
- Gonna get beer. Want anything?
346
00:21:22,122 --> 00:21:25,990
...this Bermuda cruise. No.
Well, maybe a glass of milk, if any.
347
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:29,454
- First you brush your teeth, then drink beer?
- Ain't I the one?
348
00:21:29,796 --> 00:21:32,890
- Keep talking, I can hear you.
- Then it got to be a whole thing.
349
00:21:32,966 --> 00:21:36,163
We went down, we found out
it wasn't so much, so we decided.
350
00:21:36,236 --> 00:21:39,899
And we bought the clothes
and this new luggage, all white.
351
00:21:39,973 --> 00:21:43,067
And when Mr. Dow heard about it,
he gave me a bonus, $50.
352
00:21:43,143 --> 00:21:45,134
- Who?
- $50.
353
00:21:45,212 --> 00:21:47,908
- What?
- Clarence F. Dow, my old boss.
354
00:21:47,981 --> 00:21:50,415
- What's he, one of these big-brother types...
- Thanks.
355
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:52,644
...or a big humanitarian
to good-Iooking blondes?
356
00:21:52,719 --> 00:21:53,708
Never mind.
357
00:21:53,787 --> 00:21:56,153
- I like to know these things.
- Why?
358
00:21:56,223 --> 00:21:58,487
You know how it is
with bosses and secretaries.
359
00:21:58,558 --> 00:22:01,083
- Well, some, but not me.
- You sure?
360
00:22:01,161 --> 00:22:03,629
- What are you, jealous or what?
- Who?
361
00:22:04,030 --> 00:22:07,090
Anyway, it's ancient history,
so save yourself.
362
00:22:07,601 --> 00:22:11,594
Don't be telling me about these happy-Jack
old bosses throwing presents at you.
363
00:22:11,671 --> 00:22:14,606
Anyway, about four days
before the boat went...
364
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,869
I'm all blown up like this.
365
00:22:17,043 --> 00:22:18,738
Honey, don't do that.
366
00:22:18,812 --> 00:22:20,871
- I'm only showing you.
- I know.
367
00:22:20,947 --> 00:22:23,347
If you're a child or an infant,
mumps are nothing...
368
00:22:23,416 --> 00:22:26,180
but if you're not, then something.
369
00:22:26,686 --> 00:22:30,383
And if you're male,
worse than if you're a female, much.
370
00:22:31,091 --> 00:22:35,221
Anyway, Joan says she's not going,
so I says she should, whether I or not.
371
00:22:35,328 --> 00:22:38,263
So finally Gloria from the office
took over my ticket.
372
00:22:38,665 --> 00:22:40,690
I don't think you ever met her, Gloria?
373
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:43,631
Her named used to be Stella
and she changed it to Gloria.
374
00:22:43,703 --> 00:22:45,500
Can you imagine that?
375
00:22:45,605 --> 00:22:47,573
Anyway, I was pretty miserable.
376
00:22:47,641 --> 00:22:50,235
I remember at the last minute
I gave Joan this present...
377
00:22:50,310 --> 00:22:52,835
and it was perfume. I mean, real perfume.
378
00:22:54,714 --> 00:22:55,772
You looking for something?
379
00:22:55,849 --> 00:22:58,147
It was a little box,
something the fellows gave me.
380
00:22:58,218 --> 00:22:59,913
The wallet? It's right there.
381
00:22:59,986 --> 00:23:03,285
No, not the wallet, it was a little box.
I'll find it. Go ahead.
382
00:23:03,356 --> 00:23:06,519
And I remember
there was this card I wrote in it:
383
00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:10,289
"Here's some expensive bait
to help you catch a rich one."
384
00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:13,328
And I just naturally meant it for a joke.
385
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:16,295
Twelve days later when she came back...
386
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,731
and she told me how she was engaged
to this Howard...
387
00:23:19,806 --> 00:23:22,331
and how he was
this manufacturer from Newark...
388
00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:27,312
honestly, I don't know,
it was like supernatural.
389
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:29,575
I don't know it's so supernatural.
390
00:23:29,649 --> 00:23:32,015
The guy manufactures
non-inflammable cleaning fluid.
391
00:23:32,085 --> 00:23:34,076
So why is he supernatural?
392
00:23:34,154 --> 00:23:37,021
I didn't say him, I said the way I predicted it.
393
00:23:37,090 --> 00:23:40,958
Sure, you missed your notch, all right.
You should have been a tea-leaf reader.
394
00:23:41,027 --> 00:23:45,123
But who knows where I'd be now
if not for the mumps and not going?
395
00:23:45,198 --> 00:23:47,325
You know where? Right here.
396
00:23:49,903 --> 00:23:53,134
Right here, sitting right here
pulling out your chin whiskers.
397
00:23:53,206 --> 00:23:55,106
What makes you think?
398
00:23:55,175 --> 00:23:58,201
Because fate, that's all. Just plain fate.
399
00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:02,479
I never realized before you were a fatalist.
400
00:24:02,549 --> 00:24:05,347
That's me, fatalist, private first class.
401
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:09,080
- You ready?
- I certainly am.
402
00:24:09,522 --> 00:24:11,990
This day's been about three days long.
403
00:24:12,258 --> 00:24:13,919
Sleep some extra tomorrow.
404
00:24:25,171 --> 00:24:27,605
Gotta see that man about the beds.
405
00:24:27,674 --> 00:24:30,666
- Yeah, well don't miss him.
- No.
406
00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:41,414
Good night, honey.
407
00:24:46,226 --> 00:24:48,854
- Sleep tight.
- You, too.
408
00:24:53,466 --> 00:24:54,831
Say, honey?
409
00:25:00,974 --> 00:25:04,603
You see this guy,
how about asking him about a double bed?
410
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:06,709
All right.
411
00:25:08,415 --> 00:25:11,179
Wouldn't be too much more expense
or anything, would it?
412
00:25:11,618 --> 00:25:14,485
- I don't think so.
- I don't think so, either.
413
00:25:18,224 --> 00:25:20,590
So you wouldn't mind asking him,
would you?
414
00:25:21,194 --> 00:25:22,661
Why should I?
415
00:25:23,663 --> 00:25:25,631
Embarrassed or anything?
416
00:25:26,332 --> 00:25:28,698
- Why should I?
- I don't know.
417
00:25:29,402 --> 00:25:31,632
I guess I was thinking I'd be.
418
00:25:34,207 --> 00:25:35,799
Say, honey...
419
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:40,902
You sleeping?
420
00:25:51,024 --> 00:25:54,551
Nobody could say there was anything wrong
with the way it all started.
421
00:25:54,627 --> 00:25:56,595
I mean, little things, but nothing.
422
00:25:57,130 --> 00:25:59,121
What was the first trouble?
423
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:02,693
Remember? I don't.
424
00:26:03,169 --> 00:26:04,500
Of course.
425
00:26:04,904 --> 00:26:07,395
What was it about? Money, family?
426
00:26:07,474 --> 00:26:09,738
Everything, mixed up into one.
427
00:26:11,511 --> 00:26:13,035
Well, go ahead.
428
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,509
It was just consideration,
a question of consideration.
429
00:26:18,351 --> 00:26:22,583
I didn't ever expect him to be interested
in only me and nothing else.
430
00:26:22,655 --> 00:26:25,988
And maybe it was selfish
but I always thought I ought to come first.
431
00:26:26,426 --> 00:26:28,155
And at first I did.
432
00:26:28,728 --> 00:26:32,129
But, then it got to be ambitions
and making good...
433
00:26:32,198 --> 00:26:34,291
and then even other people.
434
00:26:34,868 --> 00:26:38,599
Another thing, it wasn't my fault
my sister married this well-to-do fellow.
435
00:26:38,671 --> 00:26:42,163
It just happened that way,
but it always made him sore, Chet...
436
00:26:42,242 --> 00:26:44,574
and he never wanted to see them.
437
00:26:45,111 --> 00:26:47,773
Once, it was after
we were married about three years...
438
00:26:47,847 --> 00:26:50,441
and we had Joey, came our big blowup.
439
00:26:51,718 --> 00:26:54,448
We told you about Joey, didn't we?
Our boy?
440
00:26:57,657 --> 00:27:01,115
Anyway, the blowup started
on account of Joan and Howard...
441
00:27:01,394 --> 00:27:03,419
were going to Europe for a month...
442
00:27:03,763 --> 00:27:06,561
and they had a big farewell party,
and they invited us...
443
00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:09,295
and I wanted to go, but he didn't, Chet.
444
00:27:09,903 --> 00:27:12,394
So we just talked the whole thing over...
445
00:27:12,472 --> 00:27:15,873
and I said to him very calm, very quiet:
446
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:19,069
"Nobody's forcing you to go
if you don't want to, but after all...
447
00:27:19,145 --> 00:27:21,739
"she's my sister, so I'll go myself. "
448
00:27:22,215 --> 00:27:25,013
But he was mad he had to wear his tuxedo.
449
00:27:25,818 --> 00:27:27,547
It was a dress-up affair.
450
00:27:27,854 --> 00:27:30,288
No, but on account
of I was on late shift that week...
451
00:27:30,356 --> 00:27:33,291
I knew I wouldn't have time
to go home and change...
452
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,658
and I knew what I'd have to take,
and boy, I took it!
453
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:39,388
And I don't like to mix into high society...
454
00:27:39,465 --> 00:27:42,798
but you always did like it, you got to admit.
455
00:27:43,069 --> 00:27:46,903
I admit, I stood and I waited,
and I just knew we were gonna be late.
456
00:27:46,973 --> 00:27:48,497
I just knew it!
457
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:52,201
I told you 5,000 times
there was a breakdown...
458
00:27:52,278 --> 00:27:56,146
and Newhouse gets in a whole lather,
excited, and everybody had to give a hand.
459
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:58,548
And just my luck,
he picks me to clean up the floor.
460
00:27:58,618 --> 00:28:00,245
"Better get those up off the floor...
461
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,754
"before somebody comes in here
and breaks their neck. "
462
00:28:02,822 --> 00:28:05,290
There must have been hundreds
of ball bearings there...
463
00:28:05,358 --> 00:28:06,757
and it took a few minutes.
464
00:28:06,826 --> 00:28:09,294
The guys, they're still giving me
the business...
465
00:28:09,362 --> 00:28:11,557
and I know she's waiting on the corner.
466
00:28:11,631 --> 00:28:14,566
I knew what time it was,
but what could I do?
467
00:28:14,667 --> 00:28:16,259
Everything was piling up.
468
00:28:16,336 --> 00:28:18,566
I wanted to go. I had to stick around.
469
00:28:18,671 --> 00:28:20,696
I didn't want to get the tux dirty.
470
00:28:20,773 --> 00:28:23,867
After I clean them up pretty good,
I start to take a powder.
471
00:28:23,943 --> 00:28:27,037
So what happens?
There's another batch of bearings.
472
00:28:27,113 --> 00:28:30,708
By rights I should have picked them up,
but I kicked them under a handtruck.
473
00:28:30,783 --> 00:28:34,048
Anything, just to get out of there,
because I knew.
474
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,247
Twenty-five minutes I stood.
475
00:28:36,389 --> 00:28:40,086
That hour, I couldn't get a cab.
I practically ran all the way up.
476
00:28:40,159 --> 00:28:43,925
So then to try to make up for it,
he starts insisting to take a cab.
477
00:28:43,997 --> 00:28:46,295
As if we had that kind of money
to throw around.
478
00:28:46,366 --> 00:28:48,664
All day I'm figuring how to cut corners...
479
00:28:48,735 --> 00:28:51,226
and all of a sudden
we're riding around in cabs!
480
00:28:51,304 --> 00:28:53,898
So then all the way up Fifth Avenue,
she just clams up...
481
00:28:53,973 --> 00:28:55,208
and I can't get a word out of her.
482
00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:56,140
and I can't get a word out of her.
483
00:28:56,209 --> 00:28:58,575
Then with all the excitement
and all the hollering...
484
00:28:58,645 --> 00:29:01,079
it turned out
we were only about five minutes late...
485
00:29:01,147 --> 00:29:03,513
and at that, we were the first ones there.
486
00:29:03,583 --> 00:29:06,984
And, of course, I get the usual frosty hello
from that Howard.
487
00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:10,518
And right away,
I started in feeling like a fish out of water.
488
00:29:10,623 --> 00:29:14,059
They look us over like if we had a sign on
that said "Poor Relations. "
489
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:15,685
Why do you make up?
490
00:29:15,762 --> 00:29:18,993
However they acted would have been wrong
as far as you're concerned.
491
00:29:19,065 --> 00:29:20,430
Made me nervous.
492
00:29:20,500 --> 00:29:23,196
I suppose that's why you
started drinking the cocktails...
493
00:29:23,269 --> 00:29:25,169
like you thought they were celery tonic?
494
00:29:25,238 --> 00:29:28,765
One drink, that's all I had, one drink.
495
00:29:29,375 --> 00:29:31,969
I didn't even finish that, I didn't even like it.
496
00:29:32,378 --> 00:29:33,709
Like I said to Howard:
497
00:29:33,780 --> 00:29:37,272
"What's in here, some
of your non-inflammable cleaning fluid?"
498
00:29:37,383 --> 00:29:41,183
But, of course, he can't take a joke.
Couldn't get him to crack a smile...
499
00:29:41,254 --> 00:29:44,280
if you were Olsen and Johnson
and Martin and Louis put together.
500
00:29:44,357 --> 00:29:46,825
A fish out of water, that's all I was.
501
00:29:46,893 --> 00:29:49,361
You got into the water after a while,
didn't you?
502
00:29:49,562 --> 00:29:51,860
I don't even know what you're talking about.
503
00:29:51,931 --> 00:29:54,456
The way you were dancing
with that blockbuster!
504
00:29:54,534 --> 00:29:58,163
What was I supposed to do?
I was just trying to be sociable.
505
00:29:58,237 --> 00:30:02,469
Joan told me to dance, so I was dancing.
I was just following orders.
506
00:30:02,875 --> 00:30:06,538
I just grabbed the first partner
I happened to see and started dancing.
507
00:30:06,612 --> 00:30:10,309
I didn't know who she was.
I think she was Howard's mother.
508
00:30:10,450 --> 00:30:12,042
Howard's mother!
509
00:30:12,385 --> 00:30:15,843
If you'd just try to stick
to the truth for one minute!
510
00:30:16,122 --> 00:30:18,716
The way I remember it, that's the truth.
511
00:30:18,791 --> 00:30:22,022
-No, the way it was.
-So how was it?
512
00:30:22,462 --> 00:30:27,126
It was like you thought you'd just invented
the whole idea of dancing for the first time.
513
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,499
I didn't want to go in the first place.
I was just miserable.
514
00:30:31,304 --> 00:30:35,866
And that rumba exhibition!
I never saw anything so repulsive!
515
00:30:36,175 --> 00:30:38,040
Where do you get rumba?
516
00:30:38,277 --> 00:30:42,213
I never danced rumba in my whole life.
I don't even know how to.
517
00:30:42,682 --> 00:30:44,582
You sure learned how to that night!
518
00:30:44,751 --> 00:30:46,719
I certainly don't remember no rumba.
519
00:30:46,786 --> 00:30:48,413
You don't seem to remember anything...
520
00:30:48,488 --> 00:30:50,752
and when you do,
you remember it all wrong.
521
00:30:50,823 --> 00:30:54,054
There's no point telling everything
if you tell it all mixed up...
522
00:30:54,127 --> 00:30:57,028
like it wasn't instead of like it was.
What's the whole point?
523
00:30:57,096 --> 00:31:00,429
I'll tell you. You weren't even interested
in what happened to me.
524
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:04,630
You just wanting to be the life of the party,
and me just wanting to leave.
525
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:08,901
Yeah, and then after when we went out
to the airport to see them off...
526
00:31:08,975 --> 00:31:10,738
I wanted to go home.
527
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:13,504
All of a sudden I became a threesome.
528
00:31:13,780 --> 00:31:15,270
Not how I remember it.
529
00:31:15,581 --> 00:31:19,347
-Because you were so high by that time.
-I was low, not high.
530
00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:22,286
You couldn't tell the difference
between me and her by then.
531
00:31:22,355 --> 00:31:25,791
-Who?
-You know who, that big slinky one.
532
00:31:26,159 --> 00:31:27,717
If that's your idea of taste...
533
00:31:27,794 --> 00:31:30,092
I don't know how you ever
got together with me.
534
00:31:30,163 --> 00:31:33,189
What I remember is how you got stubborn
and wouldn't come home.
535
00:31:33,266 --> 00:31:35,962
Because I wanted to have a little talk!
536
00:31:36,369 --> 00:31:40,533
A fine place for a talk,
with all those planes going...
537
00:31:42,408 --> 00:31:43,932
What's the matter?
538
00:31:44,510 --> 00:31:47,035
Nothing is the matter!
539
00:31:47,413 --> 00:31:49,142
You sore about something?
540
00:31:49,215 --> 00:31:51,046
Just like to get on that airplane...
541
00:31:51,117 --> 00:31:54,314
and just keep on going and never stop,
that's all!
542
00:31:54,487 --> 00:31:56,682
What did I do? Something wrong?
543
00:31:56,756 --> 00:31:59,350
It all depends on what you call wrong.
544
00:31:59,492 --> 00:32:03,053
If you think it's all right to behave
like some kind of...
545
00:32:05,231 --> 00:32:07,131
...it's all right with me.
546
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,532
I didn't even know you knew words like that!
547
00:32:09,602 --> 00:32:11,797
There's a lot you don't know!
548
00:32:12,071 --> 00:32:15,563
Listen, what do you think
you're accusing me of, anyway?
549
00:32:16,108 --> 00:32:18,508
You don't actually think I was trying to...
550
00:32:19,812 --> 00:32:20,779
...do you?
551
00:32:20,847 --> 00:32:23,111
Yes! In Macy's window!
552
00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:25,144
Honey!
553
00:32:48,241 --> 00:32:49,333
Honey.
554
00:32:59,185 --> 00:33:02,086
Don't see what's so wrong
we can't talk it over.
555
00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:04,748
When you're in a better condition to,
that's when.
556
00:33:04,824 --> 00:33:09,659
I'm in a perfect condition to discuss and,
don't break the furniture...
557
00:33:09,729 --> 00:33:11,663
discuss anything at all.
558
00:33:11,731 --> 00:33:13,460
You want to wake up Joey?
559
00:33:22,275 --> 00:33:23,742
You ever have one of those days...
560
00:33:23,809 --> 00:33:26,676
when you couldn't seem
to do not one thing right?
561
00:33:27,313 --> 00:33:29,178
Well, that's me today.
562
00:33:30,349 --> 00:33:33,512
The first mistake I made
was getting up in the morning.
563
00:33:33,586 --> 00:33:36,020
From then on, not one thing right.
564
00:33:36,856 --> 00:33:38,585
Do you ever have it?
565
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:44,458
You didn't even kiss me goodbye
this morning.
566
00:33:44,530 --> 00:33:46,327
Kiss who goodbye?
567
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:49,493
Too busy, having a big fit
over wearing your tux.
568
00:33:50,036 --> 00:33:51,298
What tux?
569
00:33:53,773 --> 00:33:56,833
Gonna leave them laying
there like that all night?
570
00:33:56,909 --> 00:33:58,843
I tell you what I'm gonna do.
571
00:33:58,911 --> 00:34:02,176
I'm gonna leave them
laying there like that all night, yes!
572
00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:04,375
Perfectly all right with me!
573
00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:12,084
So, I didn't kiss you goodbye this morning.
574
00:34:12,758 --> 00:34:14,851
So shoot me at sunrise.
575
00:34:16,495 --> 00:34:19,828
I'll make it up to you,
I'll kiss you goodbye tomorrow twice.
576
00:34:19,899 --> 00:34:21,958
And keeping me waiting 25 minutes!
577
00:34:22,034 --> 00:34:24,298
I suppose you'll do that
tomorrow twice, too.
578
00:34:24,370 --> 00:34:28,136
What about the ball bearings
I didn't pick up I was supposed to?
579
00:34:28,207 --> 00:34:32,041
Frankly, I don't even know
what you're talking about, frankly.
580
00:34:32,111 --> 00:34:34,375
What if somebody trips
and breaks their necks?
581
00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:36,210
Shoot me at sunrise!
582
00:34:36,482 --> 00:34:40,111
You'd better have a glass of milk,
if you know what's good for you.
583
00:34:40,219 --> 00:34:42,084
Two glasses, in fact!
584
00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:55,127
If I knew what was good for me,
I wouldn't be me!
585
00:36:54,053 --> 00:36:55,543
All swept up, Keefer?
586
00:36:55,621 --> 00:36:56,679
Yes, sir!
587
00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:59,657
Good, because the Postmaster General
of the United States...
588
00:36:59,725 --> 00:37:03,593
Clarence F. Dow, your wife's old boss,
is paying us a little visit today.
589
00:37:03,662 --> 00:37:06,290
Three cheers for the red, white and blue, sir!
590
00:37:06,365 --> 00:37:08,128
Right this way, sir.
591
00:37:12,571 --> 00:37:14,402
A little surprise for you.
592
00:37:14,473 --> 00:37:17,567
We have a distinguished visitor
to look over your post office.
593
00:37:17,643 --> 00:37:18,632
You don't say.
594
00:37:18,711 --> 00:37:21,236
Just the President of the United States,
that's all.
595
00:37:23,582 --> 00:37:25,311
Right in here, sir.
596
00:37:35,528 --> 00:37:39,225
Gentlemen, this is
a peachy post office. Congratulations.
597
00:37:44,503 --> 00:37:46,198
Watch your step, Mr. President!
598
00:37:57,917 --> 00:37:59,714
Shoot him at sunrise!
599
00:38:02,488 --> 00:38:04,479
Halt or we'll shoot. Halt!
600
00:38:07,726 --> 00:38:09,250
Come back here!
601
00:38:20,573 --> 00:38:22,632
Shoot him at sunrise!
602
00:38:34,386 --> 00:38:36,149
Shoot him at sunrise!
603
00:38:37,990 --> 00:38:39,582
No! Wait!
604
00:38:40,559 --> 00:38:42,288
Wait!
605
00:38:52,671 --> 00:38:53,968
Wait.
606
00:38:54,807 --> 00:38:56,672
Please don't, wait.
607
00:39:23,202 --> 00:39:25,693
Don't drink water! Milk!
608
00:39:32,544 --> 00:39:34,944
- What happened?
- Terrible dream.
609
00:39:35,881 --> 00:39:37,212
Like what?
610
00:39:37,583 --> 00:39:40,984
- About the place and the ball bearings.
- What ball bearings?
611
00:39:41,053 --> 00:39:43,544
I was supposed to clean up, but I didn't.
612
00:39:43,622 --> 00:39:47,080
Everybody was sliding around,
just sliding and sliding.
613
00:39:47,826 --> 00:39:48,884
Who?
614
00:39:49,061 --> 00:39:51,552
And everybody was sliding around.
615
00:39:52,965 --> 00:39:56,594
Hey, wait a minute, wait a second!
616
00:39:56,669 --> 00:39:58,569
Chet, don't look funny!
617
00:39:58,737 --> 00:40:01,365
- Florrie! Listen.
- What?
618
00:40:01,573 --> 00:40:02,972
You know how I'm always saying...
619
00:40:03,042 --> 00:40:06,534
you don't have to be smart all your life,
only 10 seconds?
620
00:40:06,679 --> 00:40:09,409
Florrie, I don't know, but I think so.
621
00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:11,374
What?
622
00:40:11,984 --> 00:40:14,384
I think I just had my 10 seconds!
623
00:40:15,187 --> 00:40:17,781
I think I thought of something great!
624
00:40:18,223 --> 00:40:22,250
I may be wrong, but I don't think so!
But if I'm right, we're millionaires!
625
00:40:24,096 --> 00:40:26,826
Florrie, don't talk to me a few minutes.
626
00:40:27,766 --> 00:40:29,996
Give me some pencil and paper.
627
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,274
- Should I make coffee?
- Yeah, I think so.
628
00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:47,244
What's the difference,
I may never sleep again!
629
00:40:59,565 --> 00:41:01,863
That's why we could hardly wait
for you to get back!
630
00:41:01,934 --> 00:41:04,368
Nobody's even so much
as laid eyes on it till today...
631
00:41:04,436 --> 00:41:05,960
except Florence and George and me.
632
00:41:06,038 --> 00:41:08,529
Three eyes, that's all, three pair.
633
00:41:08,607 --> 00:41:12,236
This sort of thing's way out of my line.
You've got to get a patent lawyer.
634
00:41:12,311 --> 00:41:14,472
They figure out
how you can protect yourself.
635
00:41:14,546 --> 00:41:16,537
But that's why we decided to ask you.
636
00:41:16,615 --> 00:41:18,515
See, we frankly need some financing.
637
00:41:18,584 --> 00:41:20,882
With the new kid coming,
we're a little strapped.
638
00:41:20,953 --> 00:41:22,079
And that's why.
639
00:41:22,154 --> 00:41:25,317
Just what sort of a market would there be
for a thing like this?
640
00:41:25,391 --> 00:41:29,384
- The best market there is. It's a kid thing.
- The surest way to get anything over...
641
00:41:29,461 --> 00:41:31,861
- Is to make it a kid thing.
- Look at the Hop-a-Longs...
642
00:41:31,930 --> 00:41:34,421
one of the biggest industries
in the country today.
643
00:41:34,500 --> 00:41:36,991
- Why?
- Because it's a kid thing!
644
00:41:37,069 --> 00:41:40,300
A man will spend, who knows,
anything, if it's for his kid.
645
00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:42,101
He may not even buy himself a shirt.
646
00:41:42,174 --> 00:41:45,769
Let him buy his kid something that
is bigger than anything any other kid...
647
00:41:45,844 --> 00:41:48,312
- It's not only a kid thing.
- It's a sports thing!
648
00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:49,608
And it's healthful!
649
00:41:49,681 --> 00:41:52,172
What if a few kids fall, break a few legs?
650
00:41:52,251 --> 00:41:54,685
Then you've got nothing
but lawsuits on your hands.
651
00:41:54,753 --> 00:41:58,018
- All kinds of skis, skates.
- They're not full of lawsuits!
652
00:41:58,090 --> 00:42:01,287
- But that's something tried and true.
- This is tried and true.
653
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,191
We tried it ourselves.
654
00:42:03,262 --> 00:42:05,457
If you'd ever do it once yourself...
655
00:42:05,531 --> 00:42:08,295
I didn't think much of it myself,
till I tried it myself.
656
00:42:08,367 --> 00:42:10,232
I'm too old for this sort of thing.
657
00:42:10,302 --> 00:42:12,395
Why do you always keep saying
you're too old?
658
00:42:12,471 --> 00:42:16,237
Look, kitten, don't get mad.
Florence herself says it's a kid thing.
659
00:42:16,308 --> 00:42:19,471
- Not only a kid thing.
- Come on, Howard, try it.
660
00:42:20,512 --> 00:42:21,945
Okay.
661
00:42:23,782 --> 00:42:26,910
Now listen, remember
not to mention about this to anybody.
662
00:42:26,985 --> 00:42:30,216
- All right, don't get so wrapped up!
- I'm not wrapped!
663
00:42:32,958 --> 00:42:34,926
Yeah, good, Howard, let's go.
664
00:42:35,027 --> 00:42:36,927
Yeah, wait a minute now, be careful!
665
00:42:36,995 --> 00:42:38,223
Let's go out here.
666
00:42:38,297 --> 00:42:41,061
- Okay, all right.
- You can get the general idea.
667
00:42:43,068 --> 00:42:46,435
Grab both my hands, that's it.
This is the way.
668
00:42:49,475 --> 00:42:52,638
- Say, this is great, kitten!
- See?
669
00:42:52,778 --> 00:42:54,302
Some sensation, huh?
670
00:42:55,514 --> 00:42:59,280
Now, to stop,
just bend the ankle inward. See?
671
00:43:00,352 --> 00:43:03,082
They might have quite a thing here, kitten!
672
00:43:04,256 --> 00:43:07,419
Let go. Let me do it myself.
673
00:43:19,338 --> 00:43:21,272
Water, get some water!
674
00:43:21,340 --> 00:43:24,138
Talk about lawsuits,
you got one on your hands right now.
675
00:43:24,209 --> 00:43:25,233
- Here.
- What's that?
676
00:43:25,310 --> 00:43:28,837
- Pour it on him.
- Pour it on your own husband! You maniac!
677
00:43:31,783 --> 00:43:35,150
Get out of here, I'm telling you,
both of you! Beat it!
678
00:43:35,220 --> 00:43:37,347
Come on, Florence, let's go.
679
00:43:39,591 --> 00:43:40,785
Kitten.
680
00:44:11,924 --> 00:44:14,950
Our thing! That's our thing!
681
00:44:19,831 --> 00:44:23,733
Why did that somebody else have
to wait till now to think of it, too?
682
00:44:23,802 --> 00:44:24,894
What?
683
00:45:46,451 --> 00:45:49,249
So, it's nobody's fault
you could put your finger at.
684
00:45:49,421 --> 00:45:50,911
Just one of those breaks.
685
00:45:50,989 --> 00:45:55,016
You get enough of those breaks,
next thing, you're beyond repair. That's us.
686
00:45:55,093 --> 00:45:58,756
That doggone invention hadn't conked
on us, things would've been different.
687
00:45:58,830 --> 00:46:01,628
We'd have been right on our feet
instead of on our...
688
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:03,089
Excuse me.
689
00:46:03,502 --> 00:46:07,268
Are you saying that what broke things up
was not getting rich all of a sudden?
690
00:46:07,339 --> 00:46:08,328
No, but...
691
00:46:08,407 --> 00:46:12,138
Be surprised the number of people
with money come through here.
692
00:46:12,411 --> 00:46:17,178
Bless you! It wasn't only that, it was
more like we're hard luck for each other.
693
00:46:18,483 --> 00:46:21,111
- Did you love Florence?
- Yes.
694
00:46:21,953 --> 00:46:23,784
- Sure?
- Sure.
695
00:46:24,389 --> 00:46:25,879
How'd you know?
696
00:46:27,259 --> 00:46:30,251
Well, she told me I did, and she was right.
697
00:46:31,196 --> 00:46:34,290
Let me ask you, Florence,
what did you want out of marriage?
698
00:46:34,366 --> 00:46:36,596
- What I didn't get.
- Such as?
699
00:46:37,202 --> 00:46:39,067
I always thought if I ever got married...
700
00:46:39,137 --> 00:46:42,231
the one thing I'd never be anymore
was Ionesome.
701
00:46:42,908 --> 00:46:46,867
But the funny thing, you can be it
even in the same bedroom with a husband.
702
00:46:47,079 --> 00:46:50,742
He seems to be worrying and thinking
about different things except you.
703
00:46:50,816 --> 00:46:53,307
But the different things were always for you.
704
00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:56,081
The kind of love in books
and movies is not for people.
705
00:46:56,154 --> 00:46:58,452
- You got to be more realistic.
- Why?
706
00:47:02,494 --> 00:47:06,453
The one thing, Judge Carroll,
nobody can say I didn't try.
707
00:47:07,232 --> 00:47:10,724
What I'm trying to locate here,
and I wish you'd help me...
708
00:47:10,802 --> 00:47:13,032
is what makes you sure there's no hope?
709
00:47:13,171 --> 00:47:14,763
We already told.
710
00:47:15,307 --> 00:47:17,707
That you were in love, married,
and worked at it...
711
00:47:17,776 --> 00:47:22,440
had a few spats and some bad luck
but what is it makes you incompatible?
712
00:47:23,181 --> 00:47:25,308
Being married to each other.
713
00:47:25,584 --> 00:47:27,575
That's all in the point of view.
714
00:47:27,919 --> 00:47:30,149
What you choose to remember, how.
715
00:47:31,957 --> 00:47:35,552
I remember a time, one summer,
my husband and I went on a holiday.
716
00:47:35,627 --> 00:47:39,586
For some reason I remembered
the full moon and the quiet nights.
717
00:47:39,831 --> 00:47:42,231
He only remembers the mosquitoes.
718
00:47:42,768 --> 00:47:45,066
We went on a vacation once, too.
719
00:47:45,303 --> 00:47:47,430
I don't know
if I remember mosquitoes exactly...
720
00:47:47,506 --> 00:47:51,135
but I remember the two weeks,
Chet talking about how we couldn't afford it.
721
00:47:51,209 --> 00:47:53,143
-We couldn't.
-Okay.
722
00:47:53,478 --> 00:47:56,413
With two kids all of a sudden,
there was enough to worry.
723
00:47:56,481 --> 00:47:59,279
The kids were the two of us, remember?
Not just me.
724
00:47:59,351 --> 00:48:00,784
Somebody had to worry.
725
00:48:00,852 --> 00:48:03,980
It was a whole thing
getting harder and harder to handle.
726
00:48:04,055 --> 00:48:06,250
Stuck to the house all the time, practically.
727
00:48:06,324 --> 00:48:09,225
It seemed like we were working
for the benefit of nothing...
728
00:48:09,294 --> 00:48:11,785
but the obstetrician and the pediatrician.
729
00:48:11,863 --> 00:48:16,027
-Had a lot of fun, though.
-I just know I was worrying all the time.
730
00:48:16,735 --> 00:48:19,795
- Look, Ma, I'm painting, too.
- Look, honey.
731
00:48:20,105 --> 00:48:22,039
- Put him in the playpen.
- Give me the brush.
732
00:48:22,107 --> 00:48:26,009
No, Mom, Daddy, I want to help you paint.
733
00:48:26,077 --> 00:48:27,271
I know you do...
734
00:48:27,345 --> 00:48:29,870
but you're gonna help us better
by playing with Ellen.
735
00:48:29,948 --> 00:48:33,509
You play with your little sister,
like a nice little boy.
736
00:48:37,055 --> 00:48:39,922
You know the first time I knew
I could paint any good?
737
00:48:39,991 --> 00:48:42,425
You got to work it into the corners more.
738
00:48:42,494 --> 00:48:45,088
When I started painting my nails red.
739
00:48:45,430 --> 00:48:48,957
Ma, could I stay up later than her tonight?
740
00:48:49,067 --> 00:48:50,796
Ma, why can't I?
741
00:48:51,002 --> 00:48:52,469
Because you...
742
00:48:53,338 --> 00:48:56,068
Got to fix that. Tube's loose.
743
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:59,937
And send the bill to your great Mr. Dow.
That set was a lemon to start with.
744
00:49:00,011 --> 00:49:01,273
Okay, folks!
745
00:49:01,346 --> 00:49:04,713
The next big chance
to name the lucky tune goes to...
746
00:49:04,783 --> 00:49:08,048
Mrs. Chester Keefer
of No. 9 Peter Cooper Road...
747
00:49:08,119 --> 00:49:11,680
Gramercy 2-5000.
Oh, boy, lucky Mrs. Keefer.
748
00:49:11,857 --> 00:49:14,951
Operator, are you putting
that call through right away? Thank you.
749
00:49:15,026 --> 00:49:17,460
Ma! It's talking to you.
750
00:49:17,596 --> 00:49:19,325
I do hope Mrs. Keefer is home.
751
00:49:19,397 --> 00:49:23,891
We're just itching to give away $2,600
in behalf of our sponsors...
752
00:49:23,969 --> 00:49:26,767
the makers of Amazing Cream for your skin.
753
00:49:27,005 --> 00:49:29,269
It's ringing. There. Yes.
754
00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:33,437
That our phone, Pop?
Are we the Keefer on the radio?
755
00:49:34,246 --> 00:49:36,737
This will be a big night for the Keefers.
756
00:49:36,815 --> 00:49:38,180
Pick it up!
757
00:49:41,386 --> 00:49:44,355
Hello there. Anybody on the other end?
758
00:49:44,422 --> 00:49:46,219
Say hello, can't you?
759
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:47,518
Hello.
760
00:49:48,026 --> 00:49:50,256
A good evening to you!
761
00:49:50,328 --> 00:49:52,523
Is this Mrs. Chester Keefer of No. 9...
762
00:49:52,597 --> 00:49:55,122
Peter Cooper Road, Gramercy 2-5000?
763
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,566
- What?
- What do you mean, "what?"
764
00:49:57,636 --> 00:50:00,469
Yes, I am.
765
00:50:01,306 --> 00:50:02,500
Cigarette!
766
00:50:02,574 --> 00:50:06,271
This may be your lucky night to win $2,600.
767
00:50:06,344 --> 00:50:08,278
And I certainly do hope so.
768
00:50:08,346 --> 00:50:11,679
Are you listening to Your Lucky Night?
Mrs. Keefer?
769
00:50:13,151 --> 00:50:15,176
Yes, I am. I did.
770
00:50:15,620 --> 00:50:16,712
I am.
771
00:50:17,989 --> 00:50:20,116
That is fine, Mrs. Keefer.
772
00:50:20,325 --> 00:50:22,418
Now, for $2,600...
773
00:50:22,494 --> 00:50:24,860
we're going to play the lucky tune
for you to guess.
774
00:50:24,930 --> 00:50:27,490
We'll give you 15 seconds to tell us the title.
775
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:30,000
Okay? Ready! Go!
776
00:50:40,345 --> 00:50:44,179
- I think, I mean, it sounds like...
- What are you going to say?
777
00:50:45,183 --> 00:50:47,777
- The Washington Post March.
- No, I'm telling you, no!
778
00:50:47,852 --> 00:50:49,012
What then?
779
00:50:49,087 --> 00:50:53,183
I'm almost sure, it's... We used to play it.
I'm sure it's Semper Fidelis!
780
00:50:53,258 --> 00:50:56,250
I'm practically positive. Semper Fidelis!
781
00:50:56,328 --> 00:50:57,386
Time's up!
782
00:50:57,462 --> 00:50:59,157
Semper Fidelis!
783
00:50:59,698 --> 00:51:02,724
I'm sorry, Mrs. Keefer. Better luck next time.
784
00:51:02,801 --> 00:51:04,860
It was The Washington Post March.
785
00:51:04,936 --> 00:51:08,463
But for your efforts the makers
of Amazing Cream for your face and skin...
786
00:51:08,540 --> 00:51:10,303
"rub it on when your wrinkles begin..."
787
00:51:10,375 --> 00:51:13,970
will send you the large deluxe size
as a gift from the manufacturers.
788
00:51:14,045 --> 00:51:16,138
Thank you and good night.
789
00:51:16,514 --> 00:51:17,845
Thank you.
790
00:51:21,419 --> 00:51:23,979
"Rub it in when the wrinkles begin."
791
00:51:30,528 --> 00:51:33,156
Don't be surprised I never talk again.
792
00:51:35,900 --> 00:51:38,835
Money you get that way
never does you any good.
793
00:51:38,903 --> 00:51:41,565
Holy jumping! $2,600!
794
00:51:43,174 --> 00:51:45,699
Listen, I bet by the time
they get through with that...
795
00:51:45,777 --> 00:51:47,642
it wouldn't be over half of that.
796
00:51:47,712 --> 00:51:50,203
And what's wrong with half of that?
797
00:51:50,815 --> 00:51:54,182
And another thing,
it could have been Semper Fidelis.
798
00:51:56,721 --> 00:51:59,349
None of that gaggle does me any good.
799
00:52:01,993 --> 00:52:03,358
Me neither.
800
00:52:09,868 --> 00:52:12,166
- You going to take a bath?
- Why? You want to?
801
00:52:12,237 --> 00:52:14,432
- Go out, you'll catch a cold.
- No, I won't.
802
00:52:14,506 --> 00:52:17,737
- What time did you tell Emily and Pat?
- Sure you will.
803
00:52:17,809 --> 00:52:18,901
7:00.
804
00:52:19,210 --> 00:52:22,646
- We don't want a cold for our anniversary.
- Okay.
805
00:52:23,214 --> 00:52:25,705
How'd I know when to take a bath
before we got married?
806
00:52:25,784 --> 00:52:27,012
Did you?
807
00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:31,417
Maybe we should have splurged
on a regular babysitter.
808
00:52:31,489 --> 00:52:34,014
That sister of mine
can be awful late sometimes.
809
00:52:34,092 --> 00:52:37,721
You know what I hear they have great
at Toffenetti's? Their baked potatoes.
810
00:52:37,796 --> 00:52:42,529
How about wearing a pair of stockings
not got a mend in them for our anniversary?
811
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,568
Like you were my girl, not wife.
812
00:52:44,636 --> 00:52:49,403
If I was your girl, how would you know
if I had a mend in my stockings, Mr. Fresh?
813
00:52:49,474 --> 00:52:52,341
Do you think I should shave?
I did this morning.
814
00:52:52,410 --> 00:52:55,709
Yeah, our anniversary
and wearing your tux and all.
815
00:52:56,247 --> 00:52:57,680
And shave fast.
816
00:52:57,749 --> 00:53:01,241
I don't want to rush through
a Toffenetti dinner the one time I get to go.
817
00:53:01,319 --> 00:53:02,581
Toot-sweet.
818
00:53:02,654 --> 00:53:05,782
I'd have thought Mr. Dow
would have taken you to Toffenetti's...
819
00:53:05,857 --> 00:53:07,825
- A couple of times.
- What?
820
00:53:07,892 --> 00:53:11,055
Clarence F. Dow, your old boyfriend.
I mean, boss.
821
00:53:11,129 --> 00:53:13,495
- Honestly!
- And truly.
822
00:53:13,698 --> 00:53:16,565
If you're so anxious to get jealous,
I'll give you a list.
823
00:53:16,634 --> 00:53:20,070
I'd give you a list, too,
only there's so many, I forgot most of them.
824
00:53:20,138 --> 00:53:23,039
Okay, Don Juan, shave your face.
825
00:53:37,889 --> 00:53:39,481
What time is it?
826
00:53:39,958 --> 00:53:43,485
You think maybe we ought to take a cab?
It's almost 7:00.
827
00:53:43,561 --> 00:53:47,691
I mean, it's no economy
to eat a swell dinner fast...
828
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:50,997
- Then ruin the effect of our stomach.
- What did you say?
829
00:53:51,069 --> 00:53:54,664
- I'm treating us to a cab.
- Since when did you get so manly?
830
00:54:00,578 --> 00:54:03,979
What time did you get the table
at the Latin Quarter for?
831
00:54:04,048 --> 00:54:07,108
11:30. Show starts around midnight or so.
832
00:54:08,119 --> 00:54:09,518
That's them.
833
00:54:09,888 --> 00:54:12,015
Next time, regular babysitters.
834
00:54:12,090 --> 00:54:14,786
Wait a minute. I'm getting in my dress.
835
00:54:15,527 --> 00:54:18,155
Happy New Year!
836
00:54:18,229 --> 00:54:19,457
At your service!
837
00:54:19,531 --> 00:54:22,261
Mr. And Mrs. Pat Bundy. Babysitters, Inc.
838
00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:24,893
Glad to sit on any baby in town!
839
00:54:28,873 --> 00:54:32,172
- You're not kidding, are you?
- Come on, straighten out.
840
00:54:32,243 --> 00:54:35,235
Never been more straighten
in my life, buster.
841
00:54:35,413 --> 00:54:37,881
- Happy birthday!
- Who said anything about a...
842
00:54:37,949 --> 00:54:42,977
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
843
00:54:43,154 --> 00:54:48,023
Happy birthday, dear Florence and Chet
844
00:54:48,126 --> 00:54:53,564
Happy birthday to you
845
00:54:56,267 --> 00:54:57,598
That's it.
846
00:55:03,141 --> 00:55:05,041
Quiet!
847
00:55:05,777 --> 00:55:10,043
Just four years ago this minute, at 11:14...
848
00:55:10,114 --> 00:55:12,412
the two of us became one of us.
849
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:15,685
- Honey.
- What's the matter?
850
00:55:15,753 --> 00:55:20,122
- You sorry you married me?
- I was thinking suppose I never met you.
851
00:55:20,191 --> 00:55:24,150
You couldn't avoid me.
I'd have kept on meeting, till I met you.
852
00:55:30,034 --> 00:55:32,502
We now take you to the Latin Quarter!
853
00:55:45,917 --> 00:55:47,782
Hey, Mom!
854
00:55:54,158 --> 00:55:55,489
Hey, kid, let's go!
855
00:55:55,827 --> 00:55:59,126
The butcher shop was never like this.
I'm coming at you.
856
00:55:59,197 --> 00:56:02,394
- I told you he was a good dancer.
- Yeah, he's great.
857
00:56:02,467 --> 00:56:04,025
You want to bet?
858
00:56:04,102 --> 00:56:08,436
Mom, I thought you and Pop were going out
to get married.
859
00:56:11,075 --> 00:56:12,099
I'll take him.
860
00:56:12,176 --> 00:56:14,804
Anyway, Judge Carroll,
for the next few years there...
861
00:56:14,879 --> 00:56:17,643
everything went along pretty all right,
didn't it?
862
00:56:17,715 --> 00:56:19,012
How should I know?
863
00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:21,449
Between the job and home,
and raising the kids up...
864
00:56:21,519 --> 00:56:23,646
the best I was, was punchy.
865
00:56:24,088 --> 00:56:26,488
I didn't know if things were going good
or going bad.
866
00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:28,684
They were just going, that's all.
867
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,695
Then the next thing came
that Declaration Day.
868
00:56:31,763 --> 00:56:33,697
Yeah, last year.
869
00:56:34,499 --> 00:56:35,700
Declaration Day.
870
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:36,257
Declaration Day.
871
00:56:36,367 --> 00:56:40,497
Ma, can I wear my bathing suit?
Then I'll be all ready. Could I?
872
00:56:40,571 --> 00:56:43,597
You want to ride home
in a wet bathing suit? Do you?
873
00:56:43,675 --> 00:56:47,042
Could l, Ma? I want to be cool.
I don't care if I freeze to death.
874
00:56:47,111 --> 00:56:49,045
- Can I?
- What happened to the pickles, Chet?
875
00:56:49,113 --> 00:56:50,171
Wear your overalls.
876
00:56:50,248 --> 00:56:52,546
With the salt and pepper
where I'm putting the eggs.
877
00:56:52,617 --> 00:56:56,553
I never get to do one thing I ever want to.
Not one thing!
878
00:56:56,621 --> 00:56:59,556
Miss Misery, get going
or we'll drive away without you.
879
00:56:59,624 --> 00:57:02,616
- You would not!
- And your red sneakers, remember?
880
00:57:02,694 --> 00:57:04,093
My red sneakers?
881
00:57:04,162 --> 00:57:06,960
Come on, fellas! Let's go, fellas!
882
00:57:07,031 --> 00:57:09,659
It's getting late. Come on, let's go!
883
00:57:16,641 --> 00:57:18,404
Look! A squirrel!
884
00:57:18,476 --> 00:57:22,742
I saw it, Ma! I saw a squirrel!
I saw the first squirrel of anybody.
885
00:57:22,814 --> 00:57:25,078
I got a book about a squirrel and I read it...
886
00:57:25,149 --> 00:57:27,117
and the squirrel's name was Squirrel Nutkin.
887
00:57:27,185 --> 00:57:30,052
Ma, would you be scared if you saw a bear?
888
00:57:30,121 --> 00:57:33,648
If he came out and stood in the road,
what would you do, Ma?
889
00:57:33,725 --> 00:57:37,320
- What do you think you would?
- I'd ask him what he's advertising.
890
00:57:37,895 --> 00:57:41,194
Ma, the blanket! Everyone's looking at me!
891
00:57:45,203 --> 00:57:46,636
Do you like ants, Ma?
892
00:57:46,704 --> 00:57:49,935
At home I don't, but aren't they different
out here in the woods?
893
00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:53,774
Ants are all right if they mind
their business, but not in my food.
894
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:57,872
- I think this one's a father ant.
- Could I have one without dirt in it?
895
00:57:57,949 --> 00:57:59,473
This one's only got pine needles.
896
00:57:59,550 --> 00:58:02,542
Everyone's supposed to eat a peck of dirt.
Brush them off, Joey.
897
00:58:02,620 --> 00:58:05,487
I wish I could live in the woods, Pop.
Why couldn't we?
898
00:58:05,556 --> 00:58:09,185
I know how to light a fire with no matches,
rub two pieces together.
899
00:58:09,260 --> 00:58:11,387
- Want to see me?
- Why does that make a fire?
900
00:58:11,462 --> 00:58:14,329
In a minute it'll start.
Watch for smoke, Ma. Just watch.
901
00:58:14,399 --> 00:58:17,857
- Come on, Joey, let's go swimming!
- I'm coming, too, okay?
902
00:58:17,935 --> 00:58:20,233
Only to the edge, Joey. You just ate!
903
00:58:21,072 --> 00:58:25,372
- Can you make fire, Pa?
- It's too hot for fire. Take a cupcake.
904
00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:34,246
- You know what I bet would be a great idea?
- What?
905
00:58:34,852 --> 00:58:37,047
Flavored postage stamps.
906
00:58:40,858 --> 00:58:42,723
What do you mean "no"?
907
00:58:43,227 --> 00:58:47,357
Just 'cause you didn't think of it,
or that other great mind, George Bastian?
908
00:58:47,432 --> 00:58:49,730
No, because where's the return?
909
00:58:50,668 --> 00:58:53,102
Who likes to lick stamps? Nobody.
910
00:58:53,471 --> 00:58:57,703
But if it's clover, mint, or spearmint,
why not?
911
00:58:57,775 --> 00:59:01,233
Can you charge more for it if it's flavored?
Would you?
912
00:59:01,379 --> 00:59:02,573
I what?
913
00:59:02,747 --> 00:59:06,046
- Pay 4� for a three-cent if it was?
- Gladly.
914
00:59:06,451 --> 00:59:09,545
All right, so even if you did, which I doubt...
915
00:59:09,620 --> 00:59:11,986
- Who'd get the money? The government.
- So?
916
00:59:12,056 --> 00:59:15,025
I like to figure something
how I can get some.
917
00:59:15,093 --> 00:59:16,685
All right, but if not money...
918
00:59:16,761 --> 00:59:20,219
an idea like that could get you someplace
in the Post Office Department.
919
00:59:20,298 --> 00:59:24,064
- Get me canned for being a nut, probably.
- Don't be surprised if I work on it.
920
00:59:24,135 --> 00:59:25,864
You do that, honey.
921
01:00:07,578 --> 01:00:09,341
Where's the mother?
922
01:00:15,486 --> 01:00:18,353
- Joey! In the water!
- He's not there, he's down in the water.
923
01:00:18,422 --> 01:00:21,482
Joey, in the lake, in the water!
924
01:00:48,886 --> 01:00:50,683
Oh, my God! Joey!
925
01:01:08,539 --> 01:01:10,097
Here, Florence.
926
01:01:10,908 --> 01:01:12,136
Come on.
927
01:01:16,013 --> 01:01:17,537
What's the use?
928
01:01:18,249 --> 01:01:21,047
I mean, after all, this is a thing we...
929
01:01:28,626 --> 01:01:32,153
A whole year ago that was,
and I still can't believe it.
930
01:01:33,664 --> 01:01:36,258
I don't know how we lived through it.
931
01:01:36,867 --> 01:01:38,494
Maybe we didn't.
932
01:01:39,036 --> 01:01:42,665
A thousand times we think
we can't live through a thing...
933
01:01:42,773 --> 01:01:44,468
and somehow we do.
934
01:01:44,609 --> 01:01:47,976
- One thing I know is, I can't much more.
- Me neither.
935
01:01:49,146 --> 01:01:50,545
Of course...
936
01:01:50,915 --> 01:01:53,213
that's the easiest thing to do.
937
01:01:53,284 --> 01:01:54,512
Give up.
938
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:59,781
- We tried, Judge Carroll, like we told you.
- I'm sure you did.
939
01:01:59,991 --> 01:02:01,618
It wouldn't work.
940
01:02:02,126 --> 01:02:03,354
Why not?
941
01:02:04,061 --> 01:02:06,461
It's a thing you got to believe in...
942
01:02:06,530 --> 01:02:08,964
and I guess,
Florence just stopped believing in it.
943
01:02:09,033 --> 01:02:11,524
- That true, Florence?
- I don't know.
944
01:02:12,470 --> 01:02:14,563
I know I got all tired out.
945
01:02:14,905 --> 01:02:17,430
But that's not a permanent condition, is it?
946
01:02:17,508 --> 01:02:20,033
He's tired out, too, Judge Carroll.
947
01:02:22,046 --> 01:02:24,276
And he's right, what he said.
948
01:02:24,649 --> 01:02:26,514
So, okay if we go now?
949
01:02:27,184 --> 01:02:31,018
So it was last summer you lost the boy.
What about since then?
950
01:02:33,024 --> 01:02:34,924
You want to? Go ahead.
951
01:02:35,393 --> 01:02:37,224
I don't know what...
952
01:02:40,131 --> 01:02:44,090
The thing with Joey,
I don't think we ever really got over that.
953
01:02:44,969 --> 01:02:49,030
For a while there near the beginning
I just couldn't get it through my head.
954
01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:53,542
Like, one day, it must have been
about a month after...
955
01:02:53,611 --> 01:02:55,044
I was starting home from work...
956
01:02:55,112 --> 01:02:58,172
and on the street,
a guy was selling these toys.
957
01:02:58,249 --> 01:03:01,343
I thought to myself,
"I bet Joey would like that. "
958
01:03:01,419 --> 01:03:04,320
They were only 65�, so I took a flyer.
959
01:03:04,955 --> 01:03:07,719
I just couldn't get it through my head, see?
960
01:03:07,792 --> 01:03:10,989
So I bought this thing
and I started to walk away.
961
01:03:11,128 --> 01:03:13,460
And all of a sudden I stopped...
962
01:03:13,898 --> 01:03:16,560
and I remembered
what I was going home to...
963
01:03:16,634 --> 01:03:19,034
and who was there and who wasn't.
964
01:03:19,670 --> 01:03:22,662
So I started back to the guy to give it back,
the thing.
965
01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:25,675
I didn't care about the money,
but I didn't want to have it.
966
01:03:25,743 --> 01:03:29,873
But all of a sudden, it seemed wrong
to give it back, so I went again.
967
01:03:29,947 --> 01:03:33,610
And I was thinking all kinds of crazy things,
like maybe it was a mistake...
968
01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:36,517
and maybe the kid that got drowned
wasn't Joey, by the lake.
969
01:03:36,587 --> 01:03:38,817
Maybe he was just lost or something...
970
01:03:38,889 --> 01:03:42,290
and I thought of getting on the train
and going there to look for him.
971
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,591
I don't know, I admit it wasn't sensible...
972
01:03:46,197 --> 01:03:49,633
but nothing I was doing around that time
was sensible.
973
01:03:54,171 --> 01:03:56,503
Boy, I thought I'd never get out
of that hospital.
974
01:03:56,574 --> 01:04:00,010
And it was sure great for Florence, too.
Every day, two, three times.
975
01:04:00,077 --> 01:04:02,807
-You ever hear me complain?
-I didn't say that.
976
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:05,678
-I said I appreciated it.
-I know you appreciated it.
977
01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:06,617
So, all right.
978
01:04:06,617 --> 01:04:07,242
So, all right.
979
01:04:08,285 --> 01:04:09,775
And if that wasn't tough enough...
980
01:04:09,854 --> 01:04:12,254
the doctor makes me go
to Hudson Convalescent Home...
981
01:04:12,323 --> 01:04:15,724
up there near Brewster.
And he says I got to stay there a month.
982
01:04:15,793 --> 01:04:19,422
So naturally we can't get together,
only except on Sundays.
983
01:04:19,897 --> 01:04:22,798
So then one time, the big subject came up...
984
01:04:23,267 --> 01:04:25,462
about her going back to work.
985
01:04:25,603 --> 01:04:28,037
It was funny, I was expecting it all the time...
986
01:04:28,105 --> 01:04:30,938
and still I was surprised when it came up.
987
01:04:31,008 --> 01:04:32,202
So I said to her:
988
01:04:32,276 --> 01:04:33,743
Maybe I don't remember so good...
989
01:04:33,811 --> 01:04:36,302
now this concussion's
knocked my buttons loose...
990
01:04:36,380 --> 01:04:40,339
but don't you remember me telling you
I didn't want you to go back to work?
991
01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:44,149
What's the harm finding out
what's the situation in case I have to?
992
01:04:44,221 --> 01:04:47,748
- I don't want you to have to.
- Don't make a tragedy.
993
01:04:47,825 --> 01:04:51,317
I don't want my wife supporting herself.
What am I? Some peculiar?
994
01:04:51,395 --> 01:04:54,330
- No, just impractical.
- Why impractical?
995
01:04:54,398 --> 01:04:55,660
Because you don't face facts.
996
01:04:55,733 --> 01:04:58,099
There's a soda fountain.
Can I get a black and white?
997
01:04:58,169 --> 01:05:00,933
- I don't want you to do it, that's all.
- Okay, Chet.
998
01:05:01,005 --> 01:05:03,064
Do what, Ma? Don't want you to do what?
999
01:05:03,140 --> 01:05:05,472
Just gonna tell him I got to get out sooner.
1000
01:05:05,543 --> 01:05:07,875
You'll just make it worse if you do that.
1001
01:05:07,945 --> 01:05:10,539
How about just a plain cone, Ma? Only 10�.
1002
01:05:10,614 --> 01:05:12,104
- Not now.
- Here's 25�.
1003
01:05:12,183 --> 01:05:14,981
- Get yourself a black and white.
- Hot dog!
1004
01:05:19,089 --> 01:05:22,650
Look, Florrie, I know I'm pretty tough
to get along with...
1005
01:05:23,794 --> 01:05:27,127
But if you have to take a job,
I guess you just have to.
1006
01:05:27,865 --> 01:05:30,390
- I'll make it up to you.
- Okay, Chet.
1007
01:05:30,534 --> 01:05:34,197
I don't know what's the matter with me.
I think it's all this no sleeping.
1008
01:05:34,271 --> 01:05:37,104
I can't seem to sleep up here. It's too quiet.
1009
01:05:37,174 --> 01:05:40,166
You have my personal guarantee,
everything's going to be okay.
1010
01:05:40,244 --> 01:05:41,973
I know it will, Chet.
1011
01:05:56,060 --> 01:05:58,927
- Lunch, Flo?
- Soon as I get this stuff finished.
1012
01:05:58,996 --> 01:06:01,464
- You going out or what?
- No, I brought today.
1013
01:06:01,532 --> 01:06:03,056
- See you.
- I'm going for coffee.
1014
01:06:03,133 --> 01:06:05,033
- Here.
- We'll settle up later.
1015
01:06:06,604 --> 01:06:08,595
- How does it feel, kid?
- All right.
1016
01:06:08,672 --> 01:06:10,503
You have a good chance for comparison:
1017
01:06:10,574 --> 01:06:13,372
Marriage life, also business life,
so which appeals?
1018
01:06:13,444 --> 01:06:15,844
It makes a difference with a child.
1019
01:06:15,913 --> 01:06:17,972
This way I'm always worried,
is she all right?
1020
01:06:18,048 --> 01:06:20,881
But without any shilly-shally, Flo,
which would you choose?
1021
01:06:20,951 --> 01:06:25,047
- My home, when things were going all right.
- When do they ever?
1022
01:06:25,155 --> 01:06:26,679
You'd be surprised.
1023
01:06:26,891 --> 01:06:29,189
What are you figuring out there?
Your withholding?
1024
01:06:29,260 --> 01:06:31,387
- My trip.
- This Sunday again?
1025
01:06:31,462 --> 01:06:34,761
- You'll knock yourself out.
- And what about money? Doesn't it cost?
1026
01:06:34,832 --> 01:06:37,460
Not so much by bus.
Ellen only takes a half fare...
1027
01:06:37,535 --> 01:06:40,163
so that brings the whole thing
to about $4.20, round trip.
1028
01:06:40,237 --> 01:06:43,104
- Don't that bus make you sick?
- It bothers Ellen a little...
1029
01:06:43,173 --> 01:06:45,141
but if I give her half an aspirin it's okay.
1030
01:06:45,209 --> 01:06:48,406
- Is that good? To feed a kid aspirin?
- It's only half a tablet.
1031
01:06:48,479 --> 01:06:52,506
I guess she knows what to do.
She's brought up two kids very nicely.
1032
01:06:52,583 --> 01:06:53,675
What?
1033
01:06:57,922 --> 01:06:59,412
I mean, Ellen.
1034
01:07:01,325 --> 01:07:03,384
I didn't mean anything, Flo.
1035
01:07:03,460 --> 01:07:08,193
If I get the early bus, then it gives us
practically the whole afternoon...
1036
01:07:08,632 --> 01:07:12,432
if I make the 5:00 back.
It's the only one back on Sundays.
1037
01:07:22,780 --> 01:07:25,374
... departure for Boston
and points in Maine...
1038
01:07:25,449 --> 01:07:28,384
boarding at Gate 25 on the lower level.
1039
01:07:28,552 --> 01:07:33,182
For Greenwich, Stanford, Norwalk,
Bridgeport, New Haven, Middletown...
1040
01:07:33,257 --> 01:07:37,125
Hartford, Providence, Boston, Portland...
1041
01:07:39,763 --> 01:07:41,128
Last call.
1042
01:07:41,632 --> 01:07:43,031
I'm not sure.
1043
01:07:43,100 --> 01:07:46,001
I wish I had time to take in
the show at Radio City.
1044
01:08:54,138 --> 01:08:56,629
We had a breakdown, Daddy,
and two policemen came...
1045
01:08:56,707 --> 01:08:57,901
How do you like that.
1046
01:08:57,975 --> 01:09:00,808
A whole day and they kept saying
it was nothing serious...
1047
01:09:00,878 --> 01:09:03,039
just mechanical,
but you can't always believe.
1048
01:09:03,113 --> 01:09:05,411
This is the last trip you make out here.
1049
01:09:05,482 --> 01:09:08,451
We're gonna have to get that other bus.
It's the last one.
1050
01:09:08,519 --> 01:09:11,079
Five hours late. That's some service for you.
1051
01:09:11,155 --> 01:09:13,282
- You ought to get your money back.
- I will.
1052
01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:14,688
I want my money back, too.
1053
01:09:14,758 --> 01:09:17,989
- Boy, if I could just lay my hands on that...
- Don't get excited.
1054
01:09:19,563 --> 01:09:22,498
Here's your heavy sweater.
And you're feeling okay?
1055
01:09:22,566 --> 01:09:24,431
And here's the magazines you said.
1056
01:09:24,501 --> 01:09:27,800
- I'm sick of the bus. I'm not going!
- I think I'd better take her.
1057
01:09:27,871 --> 01:09:29,395
Thanks, honey. At least I saw you.
1058
01:09:29,473 --> 01:09:31,464
- Let's go, lady, if you're going.
- Okay.
1059
01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,806
I'm not going! We just got here!
1060
01:09:33,877 --> 01:09:37,108
- I wanna stay here with Daddy!
- Stop fussing.
1061
01:09:37,181 --> 01:09:40,446
Daddy will be home
in a couple of days, sweetheart.
1062
01:09:48,659 --> 01:09:51,492
- Is George going to be the only company?
- That's right.
1063
01:09:51,562 --> 01:09:54,463
Pop's got enough of a strain
without too much company yet.
1064
01:09:54,531 --> 01:09:57,762
- Why?
- Just getting back to work and all.
1065
01:09:57,835 --> 01:09:59,928
I thought maybe I was the strain.
1066
01:10:00,003 --> 01:10:01,527
Oh, no!
1067
01:10:02,506 --> 01:10:04,667
It's Daddy! I'll go.
1068
01:10:04,775 --> 01:10:06,800
- Hello.
- Hi, Daddy. Hi, George.
1069
01:10:06,877 --> 01:10:10,210
- Look what Daddy brought you.
- Hot dog! I'm gonna read it all tonight.
1070
01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:11,872
- Here's another present.
- What is it?
1071
01:10:11,949 --> 01:10:15,146
Indelible color pencils.
But dip them in water, not on your tongue.
1072
01:10:15,219 --> 01:10:16,447
Thank you, George.
1073
01:10:16,754 --> 01:10:18,415
How's the barmaid?
1074
01:10:20,290 --> 01:10:21,587
- Hi, George.
- Hi.
1075
01:10:21,658 --> 01:10:22,886
Sit down.
1076
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:25,861
They're gonna leapfrog his promotion,
you hear about that?
1077
01:10:26,230 --> 01:10:27,322
Chet, honest?
1078
01:10:27,397 --> 01:10:30,696
Big mouth. I'd appreciate it
if you'd let me tell my wife something.
1079
01:10:30,768 --> 01:10:32,167
You were just sitting.
1080
01:10:32,236 --> 01:10:34,397
- When?
- Around a week or 10, he said.
1081
01:10:34,805 --> 01:10:38,935
- Say, I've got a great idea.
- Yeah, ball-bearing roller skates?
1082
01:10:41,211 --> 01:10:43,736
You gonna tell about the lawyer letter, Ma?
1083
01:10:43,814 --> 01:10:45,714
- What?
- The lawyer letter.
1084
01:10:45,783 --> 01:10:48,775
- What lawyer letter?
- I didn't open it.
1085
01:10:49,019 --> 01:10:51,544
- Why? Is it addressed to me?
- No, me.
1086
01:10:52,356 --> 01:10:53,618
So why didn't you?
1087
01:10:53,690 --> 01:10:58,423
I told you, 'cause it's a lawyer letter.
I didn't want to by myself, naturally.
1088
01:11:10,841 --> 01:11:13,071
Give me a cigarette, will you?
1089
01:11:14,111 --> 01:11:15,476
What is it?
1090
01:11:15,679 --> 01:11:17,442
Want me to step out?
1091
01:11:20,984 --> 01:11:25,250
"Wilson and Halperin, Counselors at Law,
1740 Broadway, New York.
1092
01:11:25,589 --> 01:11:28,581
"Mrs. Chester Keefer, New York.
Dear Madam:
1093
01:11:28,826 --> 01:11:31,761
"The last will and testament
of Clarence F. Dow, deceased...
1094
01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:34,627
"was filed on April 11th by this office...
1095
01:11:34,698 --> 01:11:38,498
"for probate in the Surrogates Court,
County of New York, State of New York.
1096
01:11:38,569 --> 01:11:42,130
"The undersigned, acting as executor,
hereby makes notification...
1097
01:11:42,206 --> 01:11:45,403
"that you, as Mrs. Chester Keefer,
n�e Florence Derringer...
1098
01:11:45,475 --> 01:11:47,272
"have been named as beneficiary...
1099
01:11:47,344 --> 01:11:49,642
"under the terms
of the above-mentioned document...
1100
01:11:49,713 --> 01:11:53,342
"in the sum of $1,284.63."
1101
01:11:53,417 --> 01:11:55,578
- Happy days.
- I'm going to faint!
1102
01:11:55,652 --> 01:11:57,244
No, I'm not. Chet!
1103
01:11:57,321 --> 01:11:59,721
Let's buy a yacht
and take a cruise to Coney Island!
1104
01:11:59,790 --> 01:12:02,725
Listen, I never thought...
I mean, other people...
1105
01:12:02,793 --> 01:12:04,124
Can you imagine?
1106
01:12:04,194 --> 01:12:07,561
Chet, maybe our luck changed,
maybe for the good.
1107
01:12:08,498 --> 01:12:10,989
- You look funny.
- So I've been told.
1108
01:12:11,401 --> 01:12:14,370
- Is something...
- You got a great break. Congratulations.
1109
01:12:14,438 --> 01:12:16,668
I got? It's for us, isn't it?
1110
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:18,102
Catch me.
1111
01:12:18,842 --> 01:12:21,902
- But I don't know what's the...
- Tell you later.
1112
01:12:24,248 --> 01:12:26,011
I'll go see if dinner's ready.
1113
01:12:26,083 --> 01:12:29,109
I'm not so hungry. I got to get some air.
I don't feel so good.
1114
01:12:29,186 --> 01:12:30,448
Chet, please!
1115
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:33,614
I got to get some air.
Anything wrong with that?
1116
01:12:38,528 --> 01:12:40,826
You said he was all better, Ma.
1117
01:12:41,565 --> 01:12:44,659
He'll be right back.
How about something to eat?
1118
01:12:45,335 --> 01:12:46,802
Sure, George.
1119
01:12:49,973 --> 01:12:51,201
Sit down.
1120
01:12:55,445 --> 01:12:57,970
- What are we having?
- It's casserole.
1121
01:12:58,048 --> 01:13:00,983
I don't mean that old stuff. I mean dessert.
1122
01:13:01,218 --> 01:13:03,982
- Lemon meringue pie.
- Yeah!
1123
01:13:04,054 --> 01:13:06,488
- That your favorite?
- All my life.
1124
01:13:06,556 --> 01:13:08,251
It's my fourth favorite.
1125
01:13:08,325 --> 01:13:11,783
Say, this is great.
Think I may just move in here.
1126
01:13:11,929 --> 01:13:14,454
- You mean come and live here?
- Certainly.
1127
01:13:14,531 --> 01:13:17,056
You think my father would like that?
1128
01:13:18,201 --> 01:13:19,566
Excuse me.
1129
01:13:20,170 --> 01:13:22,570
You know what my fifth favorite is?
1130
01:13:22,873 --> 01:13:24,500
- No, what?
- Guess.
1131
01:13:25,609 --> 01:13:27,873
- Devil's food cake?
- No.
1132
01:13:28,278 --> 01:13:30,838
- Banana ice cream?
- No.
1133
01:13:31,415 --> 01:13:32,643
Caramel custard?
1134
01:13:32,716 --> 01:13:35,617
How could it be? That's my second favorite.
1135
01:13:36,787 --> 01:13:38,049
Give up?
1136
01:13:39,389 --> 01:13:43,052
Prune whip! You didn't guess it!
1137
01:13:50,767 --> 01:13:52,325
You getting up?
1138
01:14:01,178 --> 01:14:02,611
You getting up?
1139
01:14:24,901 --> 01:14:26,368
What's the matter?
1140
01:14:26,436 --> 01:14:29,530
You decided not to talk today?
What good's that?
1141
01:14:29,673 --> 01:14:32,164
Or maybe the cat's got your tongue?
1142
01:14:34,144 --> 01:14:36,408
What gets settled with no talking?
1143
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:40,610
Sometimes even with talking, it doesn't,
but with no talking, never.
1144
01:14:42,586 --> 01:14:44,850
- Come on, Florence, will you?
- Will I what?
1145
01:14:44,921 --> 01:14:47,014
- Cut it out.
- Cut what out?
1146
01:14:47,090 --> 01:14:48,387
Fine.
1147
01:14:49,159 --> 01:14:51,354
You're the one went hard-nosed
all of a sudden.
1148
01:14:51,428 --> 01:14:55,023
So why should you just pick
your any old time to talk or not.
1149
01:14:55,098 --> 01:14:58,033
I only waited around here
the whole last night, that's all.
1150
01:14:58,101 --> 01:14:59,966
George finally went home around 10:00.
1151
01:15:00,037 --> 01:15:02,528
I waited till almost 12:00
and you still weren't.
1152
01:15:02,606 --> 01:15:05,541
- At 12:15 I went to bed.
- 12:20 I came in.
1153
01:15:05,609 --> 01:15:06,735
Who cares?
1154
01:15:06,810 --> 01:15:10,246
- I see how worried you were, right to sleep.
- I did not.
1155
01:15:10,313 --> 01:15:12,873
- Just making out?
- That's right.
1156
01:15:12,949 --> 01:15:14,314
Very brave.
1157
01:15:14,718 --> 01:15:17,687
- Where were you, anyway?
- Walking around.
1158
01:15:17,754 --> 01:15:20,188
I don't follow your whole attitude, Chet.
1159
01:15:20,257 --> 01:15:22,521
I know you've been sick
and I'll make allowance...
1160
01:15:22,592 --> 01:15:24,822
but sick is one thing
and crazy is still another.
1161
01:15:24,895 --> 01:15:27,955
I'm not crazy.
You may drive me, but you haven't yet.
1162
01:15:28,031 --> 01:15:30,499
- What did I do?
- How should I know?
1163
01:15:30,667 --> 01:15:34,831
Why should any Clarence F. Dow
leave you $1,284.63?
1164
01:15:34,905 --> 01:15:37,738
- How do I know why he should.
- 'Cause you were there, not me.
1165
01:15:37,808 --> 01:15:40,242
- I worked for him, that's all I know.
- You got paid!
1166
01:15:40,310 --> 01:15:41,368
Of course.
1167
01:15:41,445 --> 01:15:44,539
So why should he leave you $1,284.63?
1168
01:15:45,115 --> 01:15:46,980
Maybe he felt like it, I don't know.
1169
01:15:47,050 --> 01:15:49,382
I don't feel like it.
What do you know about that?
1170
01:15:49,453 --> 01:15:51,978
- What do you want me to do?
- Nothing.
1171
01:15:52,255 --> 01:15:53,722
So what's the argument?
1172
01:15:53,790 --> 01:15:55,655
I look great, don't I?
1173
01:15:55,759 --> 01:15:58,785
Everybody knows about it,
or is bound to find out.
1174
01:15:58,862 --> 01:16:01,353
You can't keep a thing like this on the q.t.
1175
01:16:01,431 --> 01:16:03,592
A thing like what, for heaven's sake?
1176
01:16:03,667 --> 01:16:05,931
- You don't see anything wrong in it?
- No, I don't.
1177
01:16:06,002 --> 01:16:09,494
- You need glasses if you don't see it!
- You need glasses yourself!
1178
01:16:09,573 --> 01:16:14,340
A man doesn't leave anybody $1,284.63
just for plain nothing!
1179
01:16:14,411 --> 01:16:17,574
- He wasn't a man.
- Yeah, what was he? A trolley car?
1180
01:16:17,647 --> 01:16:21,276
He was my boss, not a man.
I didn't even like him.
1181
01:16:21,351 --> 01:16:23,911
- I guess he liked you, all right.
- No, he didn't.
1182
01:16:23,987 --> 01:16:26,581
- That's why he left it to you?
- I can't understand that.
1183
01:16:26,656 --> 01:16:28,317
You and me both, honey.
1184
01:16:28,391 --> 01:16:31,952
Look, you want me not to take it?
So I won't.
1185
01:16:32,028 --> 01:16:33,791
What good will that do?
1186
01:16:33,864 --> 01:16:37,265
If you don't want me to take it
and also to not take it, so what?
1187
01:16:37,334 --> 01:16:38,665
So nothing.
1188
01:16:40,370 --> 01:16:43,339
You know how long it would take us
to save up that much money?
1189
01:16:43,406 --> 01:16:45,499
A year. Maybe two.
1190
01:16:46,309 --> 01:16:48,368
That's right. Maybe never.
1191
01:16:48,612 --> 01:16:50,239
That's right. Maybe never.
1192
01:16:50,313 --> 01:16:52,577
All right. So I'm a flop!
1193
01:16:52,949 --> 01:16:55,474
So I admit it. So I can't support you!
1194
01:16:55,552 --> 01:16:57,520
Maybe you ought to do something about it!
1195
01:16:57,587 --> 01:17:00,021
Chet, you're not acting nicely.
What can I do?
1196
01:17:00,090 --> 01:17:02,786
I don't know!
I don't even know what I can do!
1197
01:17:02,859 --> 01:17:05,225
If you'd only calm down,
just cool off a minute.
1198
01:17:05,295 --> 01:17:08,287
- Okay, I'm cool.
- I didn't understand the whole thing myself.
1199
01:17:08,365 --> 01:17:11,232
I remember him, a very mean old man.
1200
01:17:11,401 --> 01:17:13,130
- Old?
- Old.
1201
01:17:14,504 --> 01:17:15,766
Go ahead.
1202
01:17:16,173 --> 01:17:19,472
I remember, he had this reputation
for being cranky.
1203
01:17:19,910 --> 01:17:23,038
People even mentioned it to me
when I got promoted into his office.
1204
01:17:23,113 --> 01:17:26,605
They said, "How cranky, how demanding,
no consideration."
1205
01:17:26,683 --> 01:17:29,243
- So why did you do it?
- It was a job.
1206
01:17:29,419 --> 01:17:30,477
Sure.
1207
01:17:30,554 --> 01:17:34,046
- I thought I could handle the situation.
- And I guess you did, all right.
1208
01:17:34,124 --> 01:17:38,026
No, I didn't.
No matter what I did, never enough.
1209
01:17:38,695 --> 01:17:42,859
- Even extra things, personal things.
- What do you mean, "personal"?
1210
01:17:44,201 --> 01:17:46,328
Going out and shopping
on my lunch hour...
1211
01:17:46,403 --> 01:17:49,600
sometimes he'd tell me
to buy him razor blades or socks...
1212
01:17:49,673 --> 01:17:53,905
stuff like that, on my own lunch hour,
no consideration.
1213
01:17:53,977 --> 01:17:56,377
- But you did it, all right!
- Sure!
1214
01:17:58,114 --> 01:18:00,878
- And what else?
- What else what?
1215
01:18:00,951 --> 01:18:03,977
- Go ahead!
- Chet, I can take just so much.
1216
01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:07,319
You don't have to take anything.
I'm the one doing all the taking.
1217
01:18:07,390 --> 01:18:09,324
I'm sick of all these insinuations!
1218
01:18:09,392 --> 01:18:12,088
Insinuating? I'm telling you right out!
1219
01:18:16,766 --> 01:18:19,860
We couldn't sleep anymore.
We got very restless.
1220
01:18:28,912 --> 01:18:31,904
- What's the matter?
- I almost forgot our good morning song.
1221
01:18:31,982 --> 01:18:35,247
- Not today.
- We have to. If not, it's bad luck.
1222
01:18:35,318 --> 01:18:38,116
- Don't be so superstitious.
- I'm not super anything.
1223
01:18:38,188 --> 01:18:41,021
- You hate me today.
- No, I don't. I love you.
1224
01:18:41,091 --> 01:18:43,525
Then why can't we sing
our good morning song?
1225
01:18:43,593 --> 01:18:44,685
Okay.
1226
01:18:45,262 --> 01:18:50,222
Good morning to you, good morning to you
1227
01:18:50,433 --> 01:18:55,268
We're all in our places with sunshiny faces
1228
01:18:55,338 --> 01:19:00,173
Oh, this is the way to start a new day
1229
01:19:29,906 --> 01:19:32,898
- Lf it ain't the Postmaster General.
- Hello, Pat.
1230
01:19:32,976 --> 01:19:34,273
Could I talk to you a minute?
1231
01:19:34,344 --> 01:19:37,279
Anytime, boy, anytime.
Never too busy to say hello.
1232
01:19:37,347 --> 01:19:39,713
Pat, just for instance...
1233
01:19:39,783 --> 01:19:43,275
how would you feel about it
if somebody left Emily a big wad of dough?
1234
01:19:43,353 --> 01:19:45,412
Say, somebody she once worked for?
1235
01:19:45,488 --> 01:19:49,925
- Emily never worked. She don't believe in it.
- I know, but suppose they did?
1236
01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:52,223
Wouldn't you think it was fishy if they did?
1237
01:19:52,295 --> 01:19:55,196
- Who left it to her?
- I'm just taking a hypothetical case.
1238
01:19:55,265 --> 01:19:57,756
No, I mean, who left it to Florence?
1239
01:19:57,834 --> 01:19:59,199
You wouldn't know him.
1240
01:19:59,269 --> 01:20:02,705
- What does she say?
- Nothing, she just screams.
1241
01:20:02,772 --> 01:20:05,434
Somebody left me $1,000, I'd scream, too.
1242
01:20:05,508 --> 01:20:06,998
Not the way I see it.
1243
01:20:07,077 --> 01:20:09,807
Let me tell you something,
you got a bad attitude to money.
1244
01:20:09,879 --> 01:20:10,937
You think so?
1245
01:20:11,014 --> 01:20:13,608
I never talked with you
the subject didn't come up: money.
1246
01:20:13,683 --> 01:20:16,379
- You think it's important.
- Important if you got none.
1247
01:20:16,453 --> 01:20:20,446
- But you're all wound up in it.
- This isn't the money. It's the principle.
1248
01:20:20,523 --> 01:20:23,959
No. You're just getting excited
'cause you're getting pulled in two ways.
1249
01:20:24,027 --> 01:20:27,292
You don't want her to take it,
but you don't want her to give it up.
1250
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:28,888
You're just talking gaggle.
1251
01:20:28,965 --> 01:20:31,433
See, the reason I understand you
is I'm different.
1252
01:20:31,501 --> 01:20:34,231
You're always neck high
in some scheme to do with money.
1253
01:20:34,304 --> 01:20:36,966
It's no scheme if somebody wants
to get someplace, is it?
1254
01:20:37,040 --> 01:20:38,405
I'm someplace.
1255
01:20:38,475 --> 01:20:40,841
Be a butcher all your life, do you?
1256
01:20:40,910 --> 01:20:43,344
Look, I got a job. One thing, it's steady.
1257
01:20:43,413 --> 01:20:47,179
Up, down, come or go,
one thing people got to do is eat.
1258
01:20:48,017 --> 01:20:52,010
8:20 a.m., I give that Emily
a good bite in the neck and I'm off.
1259
01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:54,880
8:50, sometimes 8:55, I'm here.
1260
01:20:54,958 --> 01:20:57,859
Good ventilation, clean working conditions.
1261
01:20:58,528 --> 01:21:01,656
12:00 I go have lunch,
take a little walk around...
1262
01:21:01,731 --> 01:21:03,699
Iook in the windows, come back.
1263
01:21:03,767 --> 01:21:06,565
5:30, we close that door, no matter what.
1264
01:21:06,736 --> 01:21:09,466
Half-hour clean up, ordering, whatever.
1265
01:21:09,672 --> 01:21:12,698
6:00, hot or cold or Wednesday, I'm out.
1266
01:21:12,909 --> 01:21:15,742
6:50, sometimes 6:55, I'm home.
1267
01:21:16,346 --> 01:21:19,543
And here's the thing,
once I cross that door going out...
1268
01:21:19,616 --> 01:21:22,278
I don't care about the shop,
or the business again...
1269
01:21:22,352 --> 01:21:24,217
until I hit it the next day.
1270
01:21:24,287 --> 01:21:28,690
From the time I leave this store,
the only animal I worry about is Emily.
1271
01:21:28,858 --> 01:21:30,553
I don't want to be a big man.
1272
01:21:30,627 --> 01:21:33,255
Listen, on 201135th Avenue,
Jackson Heights...
1273
01:21:33,329 --> 01:21:37,163
I'm the biggest man there is.
That's the only place I want to be a big man.
1274
01:21:37,233 --> 01:21:39,394
So, what's wrong with my point of view?
1275
01:21:39,469 --> 01:21:42,666
All right.
So I'm a stick-in-the-mud, no ambition.
1276
01:21:43,039 --> 01:21:45,405
But for my kind of type,
I got married to Emily...
1277
01:21:45,475 --> 01:21:49,741
who's the right kind of type
for my kind of type, and she don't push me.
1278
01:21:49,813 --> 01:21:53,078
She don't tell me what the woman next door
got for Christmas.
1279
01:21:53,149 --> 01:21:54,810
Live and let live.
1280
01:21:55,051 --> 01:21:57,679
Is that beautiful? Or am I prejudiced?
1281
01:21:58,421 --> 01:22:00,981
You don't understand
my whole problem, Pat.
1282
01:22:01,057 --> 01:22:03,389
- But thanks, anyway.
- See you.
1283
01:22:22,445 --> 01:22:23,776
I started.
1284
01:22:24,547 --> 01:22:26,037
I see you did.
1285
01:22:26,716 --> 01:22:29,913
I didn't know
if you were coming or when. Nothing.
1286
01:22:36,192 --> 01:22:37,682
How's the kid?
1287
01:22:39,963 --> 01:22:41,328
All right.
1288
01:22:42,432 --> 01:22:43,694
Sleeping.
1289
01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:47,927
I never did so much thinking
as the last couple of days.
1290
01:22:51,875 --> 01:22:53,399
You better eat.
1291
01:22:53,843 --> 01:22:57,643
It used to be I thought
this way about something or that way.
1292
01:22:57,914 --> 01:23:00,246
Lately, I don't know what.
1293
01:23:01,184 --> 01:23:02,776
About the money?
1294
01:23:02,919 --> 01:23:04,887
But this much I decided.
1295
01:23:04,988 --> 01:23:08,515
Never mind my own feelings,
I got to swallow everything.
1296
01:23:09,125 --> 01:23:11,150
I got to think of the kid.
1297
01:23:11,928 --> 01:23:14,658
- But not me?
- Sure, you.
1298
01:23:15,632 --> 01:23:16,894
You, too.
1299
01:23:17,500 --> 01:23:18,694
Thanks.
1300
01:23:19,969 --> 01:23:23,336
So what I'm trying to say is, okay.
1301
01:23:24,073 --> 01:23:27,008
You got my permission to take it.
The money.
1302
01:23:29,312 --> 01:23:31,803
Thanks. I'm glad you feel this way...
1303
01:23:32,916 --> 01:23:35,646
- 'cause I already did.
- Already did what?
1304
01:23:36,085 --> 01:23:39,987
Went down there and took the money.
No strings attached.
1305
01:23:40,290 --> 01:23:42,485
Well, this is great!
1306
01:23:43,293 --> 01:23:47,093
- This is just A-number-one great!
- Now what?
1307
01:23:47,163 --> 01:23:51,190
You couldn't wait? What were you afraid of?
He'd change his mind?
1308
01:23:51,367 --> 01:23:54,825
- How can he change his mind? He's dead!
- You can just stop hollering.
1309
01:23:54,904 --> 01:23:57,498
I made my mind up not to listen
to anything hollered.
1310
01:23:57,574 --> 01:24:01,806
- Anything said I'll listen to, but not hollered.
- Don't tell me what to do in my house!
1311
01:24:01,878 --> 01:24:03,175
- Your?
- That's right!
1312
01:24:03,246 --> 01:24:04,235
My house, too!
1313
01:24:04,314 --> 01:24:06,179
What, are you going to throw it to me now?
1314
01:24:06,249 --> 01:24:09,218
That Howard and Joan
gave some of the furniture?
1315
01:24:09,285 --> 01:24:10,946
I'll pitch it out!
1316
01:24:11,454 --> 01:24:13,012
And that radio, too, of his.
1317
01:24:13,089 --> 01:24:15,387
I shouldn't have let it in here
in the first place!
1318
01:24:15,458 --> 01:24:20,054
Listen, Chet, I've been trying my best,
but if you want the truth...
1319
01:24:20,964 --> 01:24:24,422
you're not only hard to get along with,
you're impossible!
1320
01:24:24,500 --> 01:24:25,728
I leave it to a jury!
1321
01:24:25,802 --> 01:24:27,997
You come in,
you say it's all right to take it...
1322
01:24:28,071 --> 01:24:32,201
so then I tell you I took it,
so then you're off your handle again.
1323
01:24:32,542 --> 01:24:34,373
There's a difference!
1324
01:24:36,379 --> 01:24:39,246
- You don't see the difference?
- No, I don't.
1325
01:24:47,557 --> 01:24:49,889
What do you want to do about it?
1326
01:24:51,327 --> 01:24:52,817
I don't care.
1327
01:24:54,697 --> 01:24:55,959
Anything.
1328
01:24:57,433 --> 01:25:00,869
Anything you want to do about it
is all right with me.
1329
01:25:04,307 --> 01:25:07,174
I'm getting sick and tired of you
slamming out of the house...
1330
01:25:07,243 --> 01:25:09,438
at every least little thing! It's no way to act!
1331
01:25:09,512 --> 01:25:11,446
What am I supposed to have,
a chain on me?
1332
01:25:11,514 --> 01:25:14,540
Daddy! Momma! Go away!
1333
01:25:17,253 --> 01:25:19,153
What's the matter, sweetie?
1334
01:25:19,222 --> 01:25:22,658
Some mad people were hollering,
and I wasn't dreaming!
1335
01:25:22,759 --> 01:25:24,693
It was real! They were real!
1336
01:25:24,761 --> 01:25:27,628
No. They're not going to holler anymore,
those mad people.
1337
01:25:27,697 --> 01:25:32,100
You just go to sleep, and don't you worry,
I'm going to take care of it.
1338
01:25:32,268 --> 01:25:34,361
I'm here, and Daddy's here.
1339
01:25:35,171 --> 01:25:37,162
You just go to sleep now.
1340
01:25:50,019 --> 01:25:51,884
- You satisfied?
- What?
1341
01:25:52,488 --> 01:25:54,922
You make a nervous wreck out of her,
that's what.
1342
01:25:55,558 --> 01:25:57,890
Again me! All me!
1343
01:25:58,094 --> 01:26:00,221
- Will you shut up for once!
- Why...
1344
01:26:00,296 --> 01:26:01,763
You heard me!
1345
01:26:04,133 --> 01:26:07,330
- Where do you think you're going?
- What do you want, a chain on me?
1346
01:26:07,403 --> 01:26:08,836
You better not, Florence.
1347
01:26:08,905 --> 01:26:11,806
I'm going to try
a little fresh-air thinking myself.
1348
01:26:11,874 --> 01:26:13,671
How can you leave your kid alone?
1349
01:26:13,743 --> 01:26:15,677
- You'll be here.
- That's what you think!
1350
01:26:15,745 --> 01:26:18,213
- What kind of a father are you?
- No kind.
1351
01:26:18,281 --> 01:26:21,409
No kind of father, no kind of husband,
no kind of man! Nothing!
1352
01:26:21,484 --> 01:26:23,111
You may be right!
1353
01:26:24,721 --> 01:26:28,179
Florence, for the last time, I warn you,
you better stick around.
1354
01:26:28,257 --> 01:26:29,815
If you, too, will.
1355
01:26:29,892 --> 01:26:31,860
- I'm going out.
- So am I!
1356
01:26:43,072 --> 01:26:45,973
And from then on, Judge Carroll,
it was just a free-for-all.
1357
01:26:46,042 --> 01:26:48,272
All of a sudden it was everybody's business.
1358
01:26:48,344 --> 01:26:51,336
Everybody had something to say,
even Howard and Joan.
1359
01:26:51,414 --> 01:26:53,814
They sent for me
and they give it to me one way:
1360
01:26:53,883 --> 01:26:55,851
"After all, you're not a couple of kids.
1361
01:26:55,918 --> 01:26:58,819
"You're a married man and a married woman
with a child!"
1362
01:26:58,888 --> 01:27:01,356
Don't you think I had to listen to plenty?
1363
01:27:01,424 --> 01:27:05,758
Everybody yelling and at the same time
yelling, "Stop yelling at her. "
1364
01:27:05,828 --> 01:27:08,319
The one thing I found out in those days is...
1365
01:27:08,397 --> 01:27:11,093
I noticed everybody's always interested
in troubles...
1366
01:27:11,167 --> 01:27:14,728
are crazy about them,
so long as it isn't their own troubles.
1367
01:27:14,904 --> 01:27:16,872
Maybe if we could have gotten together...
1368
01:27:16,939 --> 01:27:19,840
and talked everything over
without everybody else's opinion...
1369
01:27:19,909 --> 01:27:23,470
And everybody else's opinion was,
"No and yes, no and go, and stop..."
1370
01:27:23,646 --> 01:27:27,207
And about the money,
it turns out that crazy old thing, Mr. Dow...
1371
01:27:27,283 --> 01:27:31,117
- He left the same amount to 55 other girls!
- And 34 men.
1372
01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:35,416
And he was 77 years old,
and in no way remarkable, except eccentric.
1373
01:27:35,491 --> 01:27:38,016
So if you found that out,
so why didn't you say?
1374
01:27:38,094 --> 01:27:39,994
I don't know. It was too late.
1375
01:27:40,062 --> 01:27:42,360
And I couldn't think straight,
everybody hollering.
1376
01:27:42,431 --> 01:27:43,659
I couldn't either.
1377
01:27:43,733 --> 01:27:46,634
Whatever I did would be wrong
in somebody's opinion.
1378
01:27:46,702 --> 01:27:48,533
And what about your own opinion?
1379
01:27:48,604 --> 01:27:50,265
I didn't have any.
1380
01:27:50,540 --> 01:27:53,873
Like you yourself said that time,
you didn't know what you thought.
1381
01:27:53,943 --> 01:27:55,376
And I don't now.
1382
01:27:55,444 --> 01:27:58,971
So we wind up here,
and I guess this is the right place.
1383
01:27:59,081 --> 01:28:00,673
I think so, too.
1384
01:28:01,117 --> 01:28:03,585
Pretty risky thing,
meddling in other people's lives.
1385
01:28:03,653 --> 01:28:07,680
Advice: always worried when I give it
and when I take it.
1386
01:28:08,491 --> 01:28:12,427
You two have had seven years of each other
and I've only known you a few hours.
1387
01:28:12,495 --> 01:28:15,953
So the fact that I think you ought to
stick together isn't much weight.
1388
01:28:16,032 --> 01:28:18,865
You've had hard times, but good ones, too.
1389
01:28:19,635 --> 01:28:22,729
You've each made some mistakes,
so has everyone.
1390
01:28:22,872 --> 01:28:24,772
And now you've decided.
1391
01:28:26,075 --> 01:28:29,511
I wonder if it isn't just wrong-headedness.
1392
01:28:30,079 --> 01:28:33,879
How do you know what the other one wants,
or thinks, or feels?
1393
01:28:33,950 --> 01:28:35,315
However...
1394
01:28:36,452 --> 01:28:37,851
It is late, isn't it?
1395
01:28:37,920 --> 01:28:41,879
My husband gets awful irritable
when I get home too late too much.
1396
01:28:41,958 --> 01:28:45,758
There was a writer who once said,
"Every human being is a plot."
1397
01:28:45,828 --> 01:28:48,820
That's right.
I wish I had time to hear all of yours.
1398
01:28:48,898 --> 01:28:52,197
Maybe there'd be a solution
if we went deep enough.
1399
01:28:55,171 --> 01:28:56,502
Thanks for trying.
1400
01:28:56,572 --> 01:28:59,632
I imagine we'll finish you up
tomorrow morning. Good night.
1401
01:29:11,120 --> 01:29:14,317
- You taking them both tonight, Your Honor?
- What?
1402
01:29:14,390 --> 01:29:17,188
- Both briefcases?
- I think I'd better.
1403
01:29:17,927 --> 01:29:19,918
A lot of heavy work here.
1404
01:29:21,731 --> 01:29:24,996
I think we can scratch Keefer v. Keefer
for tomorrow.
1405
01:29:25,067 --> 01:29:26,261
Made up, have they?
1406
01:29:26,335 --> 01:29:28,860
I don't know,
but let's scratch them, just for luck.
1407
01:29:28,938 --> 01:29:30,200
- What do you say?
- All right.
1408
01:29:30,273 --> 01:29:32,434
- Here, I'll take those.
- No, that's all right.
1409
01:29:32,508 --> 01:29:35,500
- Good night, Charley.
- Good night, Your Honor.
1410
01:29:38,014 --> 01:29:41,040
The only trouble is
I can't promise it would be no different.
1411
01:29:41,117 --> 01:29:43,950
- The way I am, that's how I am.
- Me, too.
1412
01:29:44,654 --> 01:29:46,588
I know everything wrong with me:
1413
01:29:46,656 --> 01:29:49,523
Too ambitious,
disillusions of grandeur and all that.
1414
01:29:49,592 --> 01:29:53,426
- And what about me getting nervous?
- I get nervous, too, don't I?
1415
01:29:53,496 --> 01:29:55,225
It's a nervous world.
1416
01:29:55,298 --> 01:29:57,766
- Guess we found that out.
- Yeah.
1417
01:30:00,136 --> 01:30:01,797
Listen, Florrie...
1418
01:30:04,941 --> 01:30:06,408
you think so?
1419
01:30:07,343 --> 01:30:08,867
I'm too scared.
1420
01:30:10,146 --> 01:30:12,876
I mean, when we got together finally,
the first time...
1421
01:30:12,949 --> 01:30:17,409
I never imagined it could be different
or we could bust up or anything...
1422
01:30:17,787 --> 01:30:20,119
but now I'd always be thinking about it.
1423
01:30:20,189 --> 01:30:22,589
What makes you think I'd let you?
1424
01:30:22,992 --> 01:30:25,620
Well, I mean, at least I'd know it's possible.
1425
01:30:25,695 --> 01:30:28,755
Maybe it's a good thing,
to know it's possible.
1426
01:30:29,532 --> 01:30:30,692
Maybe.
1427
01:30:31,267 --> 01:30:34,134
I'd like to make a promise
everything's going to be different.
1428
01:30:34,203 --> 01:30:36,296
But how can I promise that?
1429
01:30:36,505 --> 01:30:38,473
But I'll tell you what I can do.
1430
01:30:38,541 --> 01:30:40,941
I can tell you I'd certainly try.
1431
01:30:42,078 --> 01:30:43,568
I would, too.
1432
01:30:44,213 --> 01:30:47,808
- With the bottom of my heart.
- So what's wrong with that?
1433
01:30:49,518 --> 01:30:50,746
So okay?
1434
01:30:51,420 --> 01:30:53,911
If we could only remember
not to blame each other...
1435
01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:56,185
when things went the wrong way.
1436
01:30:58,127 --> 01:31:00,254
So, okay, I come over there?
1437
01:31:00,997 --> 01:31:03,465
I don't see any stop sign, do you?
1438
01:31:31,394 --> 01:31:33,055
Good night, folks.
1439
01:31:33,295 --> 01:31:35,058
Good night is right.